How would you know if it's (REALLY) over?

let it rest, guys....

some things are not worth holding on to..

some things are not worth holding on to..

If you try to hold on, you will regret it in later yaers. Move on!

so hard to end or quit the things attached in our life..try our best to hold on..if we failed at least we tried and u cannot blame your self why u didnt do anything..

Nope, you don't scratch a 7 years itch. Its ready for firing.

But it's nice to have someone to scratch the itch :O)

I had a feeling that it was over when I found my clothes and belongings on the doorstep ..

it's an instict...so just let it GO!

When that itch is gone, than its over.

It doesn’t matter whether you left the relationship or were left—the best advice I have learn't from the past is not to carry old “baggage” into the new life you envision for yourself.

Tip 1: Never look at a relationship (or anything else) that hasn’t worked out as a failure.

Tip 2: Turn from the past and look toward the future ...YOUR future

Tip 3: Take responsibility for your part—no more and no less

Tip 4: Learn from and give thanks for the lessons that you learned and change your attitude

As painful as it is to hear, the truth is that everything in your life (including your relationships) is a result of the choices you have made up until now. If you don't like the circumstances in your life or relationships, decide to make other choices.

I redd all the comments and then thought will jot something...

I'd take his silence or her silence as a sign that whatever there was before, is no more or when you see this person in person, ask him or her why they no longer want to talk with you. Better to be hurt now than to waite and see him or her with someone else.

cheers

AK

When it seems as though you are the only one that is trying.

oh my... 2 and a half years? well somebody's back from the grave, still in love it seems lol

...listen to the sound of silence....

Who revived this 2 and a half year old thread?????

Anyway sometimes it is over even before it begins...

...It's over when he doesnt talk to you, no messages or calls like before, no traces of spark to be felt, cold seems to seep in through and through....and when you think you've done all you can,stop and listen hard to the sound of silence

ahh it's easy to just say these things but very difficult really... goodluck dear

...listen to the sound of silence....

you have to talk, listen, talk, and again listen, then decide.

halla...its REALLY over almost 3years!!!!!!!!

there would be three separate answers as the situations are different..

relationship: when you think about some other guy/gal while making love..

marriage: when you cant stand the sight of your spouse..

friendship: when you come to know that you have been betrayed..

Azilana, first of all if she is married , let her sit and talk to her husband how she feels and let them discuss what they want in life from each other... If the guy is married and he is with family, the please think when he can leave the lady for this girl , why he will not leave her for another women.. it is simple...ask ur friend to save her marriage and be happy with the kids and husband...

If we keep on thinking about options, then u will not have anything in life...

Oh for goodnes sake..

you know when its over because your whole being including your heart, senses and body tells you so!

into the same confusing situation aziliana friend is going through. Or shall i say..was. It's like dying everyday, wishing to live normally, yet fearful of the consequences. Men in general won't break up first, you just have to use your senses and intuition. And to be left hanging is miserable. Grasp all, lose all as they say. You end up with both gone. One side suffers, while the just dies.

But I don't know really...I end up NOT CARING anymore.

This is the post that i found as I was searching on the internet one night. Funny how things happen, huh? Azilana, according to the date above this post was originally posted in 2007. So what did end up happening? What's the update? Did your friend end up working things out? or did it end up being over for good?

Inquiring minds want to know. I hope it worked out for the best either way :)

its over when u decide its over...

funny how some men just leave u hanging, well

i say they just dont have the balls to decide

what they really want for themselves.

if the other party gets a lil cold than before,

doesn't call or even send messages anymore...

doesn't make plans to meet or hang out, then

i'd say its OVER. time to move on!

hmmm... maybe i should... ;P

there's a certain point in every relationship that we fall out of love, no matter how he/she try to hide the feelings it will show naturally. and they usually say that action speak louder than words this is true.

saying goodbyes is not an easy thing, but i guess its better to say it than keep him/her hanging on the line...

"The mind determines what's possible,

The heart surpasses it"

i hv a bad feeling or somethings is not right 2 weeks before i broke up with my x...

thts wht they call gurls intuition i guesss lo00ol :)

and once its gone its gone.no point going on about.be brave and carry on with your life.some thing better is waiting for you down the line.thats what I believe.

for a long while, he/she is not

trying to get in touch...

and then all of a sudden,

he/she called you,

and tells thats your number was dialled

wrongly as he/she was supposed

to call another person....

and then hang up on you just like that :(

i think that would be the last time

you'll be talking with each other.

from there and then... story is over!

KALIWALI :(

As soon as the naughty bits and dressing up are refused, then you know its over.

What if you both love eachother deeply still, but you come from such different backgrounds that you argue because you can't see eye to eye on things. I love my fiancee, but we argue so much and it hurts. But I keep trying and he keeps trying because we still love eachother. We recently broke up, but he's trying to get back together and I don't know if I should go back or call it quits. Any advice?

Dear Azi...

How do you know it's the end? You can easily feel it.

You can try to bring back the spark, but the truth is that when the feeling is not mutual, there is not much you can do.

You can try to talk, explain, understand, swallow all your pride, be the best you can be in your opinion, or even fight-and if the other side does not want to respond, there is really not much you can do.

I guess we can try to split gracefully, but when some feelings are still involved it is just so not easy. In the end, who are we kidding? We are only human.

If you're looking for a problem, you're probably gonna find one.

I would say it's time to admit it's over when they have made an emotional connection with someone else. An emotional connection is a lot stronger then a physical, just sex, connection. If there other is really into the person on a personal level, then you can pretty much say they've moved on from you.

"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco

What's the difference from an "ideal,practical life" and "the realistic one"?

"Ideal, practical life" wherein you suffer in silence, grit and gnash your teeth because of a vow made and afraid of what people might say...

Or what is a "realistic life" for you?

Azzy i will quote you

"Now...she met someone who "rocks her world" so to speak and now she's confused. She vowed to GOD and society to love and be with the father of her children (for better or worse) or follow her heart and be finally happy..."

the question would be, living in an ideal, practical life or realistic one? I know im making this more complicated (as it is..)..:D

uhmmm..what's this moving on thing huh?..i got a question up there, but i think it wasn't answered..:P

anyway, it's HER decision is what REALLY MATTERS HERE...only she can make or break her happiness..

It is hot enough today and you make it more.Smile.

Good morning to you and lucky one which is your future love.

:-D

Have a great day and take care.

:-D

*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your

spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.

Keep the faith!*

and how are you doing these days? Long time no see ... missed you the last time we went for jogging on corniche ... it was really fun and I guess that we all enjoyed it Treysdad, m_daylight, Karin & Owen ... wish that more joined us ... the weather was nice and the feeling was great ...

Well, ... I guess that your friend got now a mixture of feelings and emotions that she can't control anymore. She wants happiness for the future, but the past is holding her back. She thinks that happiness is something that she should pay for it, guess she never got the chance to be happy before. She wants to be happy but in the same time ... she is afraid of the sequences. Her past looks bad and that is why it keeps hunting her, she feels that her decisions would affect other people also who are in her life ... that is why she is lost and have no idea what is right and what is wrong ...

She is a nice person to think of it this way, she wants happiness for everyone and not only herself. A woman of her kind will scarify her happiness to see the people that she loves happy. I guess that her husband should be kind of an idiot to treat her like that, there is a different between finding it difficult to express how do you feel for a woman and between ignoring her totally. I guess that even if you were bad at this, her instinct as a woman would not fail her knowing if you care about her or not, love her or love someone else.

Guys ... love is something that we can feel and it is not necessary to hear or see. It is something that touch your heart and soul and that is why you got blind, deaf and speechless when it strikes you. There is no other option but to trust that person and give her/him the keys to your heart and trust him/her with everything. I can't see any other way, trust & honesty ... is the key to everything ... to unlock the locked hearts and to let the river of emotions take control over everything else and take it's natural path to float and overcome this land with joy, happiness and love.

Best Regards

It's a true-blue down to the core LOVE story of a person I know. :-)

And it's not "ME"...good night (hohumm) again, guys!

Sweet dreams..

hey Azzie,

whose story is this?

fiction or a true love story?

[img_assist|nid=25039|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=180|height=151]

No need to rush it..(real/true) love will come in due time so let TIME run its course...

Hmmm...gtg...need to call my MAN to say good night and the 3 mushy word (hehehe).

Good night for now, Copper..

And to all Qlers on line...good night!!!

YOu did a good thing by advising her to get more social.And who knows,the guy she is dating can be a nice guy.May be the man of her dreams.

let's hope for the best

NOT AL MEN ARE AS NICE AS I AM...lol

I just realized it when you mentioned it. It's not what I meant...lol

You green-minded heh...men always think about "it"...hehehe

She knew the (new)guy about 3-4 months, I think...

I remember telling her to widen her horizon...meet other people and then decide later on.

I kind of feeling guilty as I'm happy with the way my lovelife is concerned and I see her troubled and confused (my observation). I want her to be happy without any consequences whatsoever...

I liked the note you left at the bottom...lol

Now..HOw long has she known the new guy??

DO you think he is nice and will not turn out to be the same later??

Men can play games or pretend to be different.

Some men are true,but can change over time.

She must know him more and give more time to decide,before she takes any decision.

All what i can say and what i do for myself:Follow the heart,go the way of the real and pure love.Everyone has the right to be happy,no matter what others could think or say.She will make the right desicon when the time is come.Wish her all the best and good luck in her future,maybe new life.

:-D

*Create your own destiny,fighting against your dark sides,raise your

spirituality.Every day is a new day.A new life.

Keep the faith!*

feeling tired, fed-up, bitter (I hope not). She's still in denial, I suppose...

She said it's a special friendship...I say it's BS.

It's either you feel it or you don't...and no need to put the other guy hanging, quite unfair...right?

Only the ones in the relationship would know the exact hints..

note:YOu know it's over when you cant continue to love or know that the partner does not love you anymore.

HINTS:

Sudden diff in telephone bill,late night outs(if unusual),lack of interest in sex,password protected cellphones,change in dressing style etc can be few hints.

If a girl want to lose a guy who he doesn't love,just go tell him the truth..Believe me he will be waiting to hear that.

If he still love her,it'll be difficult.But being with other guys or other relationships can bother the guy.

However, she placed distance (lets say oceans) between them to see if HE would find in his heart to miss her or feel her absence. But alas, no reaction.

The other/new guy comes in like a knight in shining armor (I guess)and swept her off her feet with gestures of gentleness and affection. Something she never felt and experienced before.

Will she let go of the other one and give this (new) guy a chance and move on????

P.S. - just in case someone would just into conclusion...IT'S NOT ME we're talking about here. I'm happily committed, thank you :-)

there will come a point where u will feel tired...fed-up..and bored... and the least thing u can think of is end it...

i felt it a lot of times but i decided to save it...and until now there's always a fear in me that things may happen again...but there's nothin to lose...but if it does...i can say it ends there...

Hope this help answer your question

If her husband is a BAD guy and she gave him enough chances,she deserves someone better.

But few things:

Not all guys know the right way of showing love and affection.We can be really confused.

Sometimes some of us cant differenciate work and home,and it gets difficult

In some situations,it takes BLOW to get things right.May be if he realise that she has someone else she can be close to,or a threat of losing her might bring him on track.

If the realtionship has absolutely no future,then why continue???After all,relationship is built to keep each other happy.

hmmmm...how confuse is confuse? if you said that she vowed herself to the marriage..why would she be confused?

I met someone who became so dear friend to me....and after a long time of knowing her, she opened up about her marriage.

She married the guy who got her pregnant and through years (and another child) of trying to make the marriage work, she felt is it worth to keep the marriage?

Now...she met someone who "rocks her world" so to speak and now she's confused. She vowed to GOD and society to love and be with the father of her children (for better or worse) or follow her heart and be finally happy...

I can say what's on my mind but what's your opinion about it?

you're done with it!..turning over a new leaf, a next chapter of your life.Refresh!

Forgive and forget is the easiest way out... The importance is Love in any sort of relationship , if the opposite sexes fall for money, lust, or to other subteleties of mind things are bound to fail.. The male is always the weaker side compared to the woman..

Over is when you don't really think and care of each other anymore! it's kind of difficult, but of course if you really think it's over! you cannot remain clingy, it hurts when someone are so much in-love and ended up falling apart! but life is short and you might as well enjoy it and learn to forgive and forget so you can move on.

Just keep dancing, it will do you good!

When the female asks for too much freedom, and ignores the temptations and pursuations...

Many of the above replies are not terse and to the point... the recommendations to fight such phases of life are only mentioned but the start of a cause for break in relationships is not mentioned anywhere...

I disagree......................anyone interested ? It's up to you to decide and don't give me that horsepoo about not knowing, you know..., everybody knows when it's over. If you r honest to yourself, deepdown you feel in your gut what to do.......you may not like it but.....sooner or later it will happen anyway and then you have to be brave enough to take it, sit down, get on with your live. If things were meant to be, things will work out.

anyway...............the surferdude has spoken !

I call its over when my partner is dating with another guy. Should I cling to it and try to save it? I would not say hold on to it, but I would like to clarify things up. Why is she dating some other guy, is it over between the two of us?

It’s really up to the two of you if you still want to continue your relationship. If you still both want it then you have to find away to fight for it. But, if it is only one sided relationship then there is no use continuing it. It should work for both of you and not just for you or your partner.

Communication is really important. If she or he still wants the communication open even though how hard it is for both of then it means he still in to you. If it is the other way around then you have to move on.

When he sends an SMS that reads "I hate sex". Couldn't be clearer, could it?

i guess you just know that the relationship is over - but it depends on wether people can admit it to themselves, many times a realtionship will be a dead one with neither parties wanting to be in that relationship but not knowing how to say so! Lifes get too tangled up together and it become hard to seperate!

but it also depends on what relationship your in - if marrigae ( in my opioion ) you should fight till your last breath to save you marriage! if its just a casual relationship then life is too short too be unhappy!

Both side should be mature enough to face and be honest with the other partner ,they should sit and agree to end it or to fight to put spark on again.