new life

one morning ive woke up... and ask god... how deep is my faith?? do i know him that much?? do i really accept him as my saviour? then i start reading the bible,, going to church regularly,, but the fullfillment is not there, i just found out its been part of my routine.. waking up early at week ends to go to church and going back home to read the bible.. then one day i ask myself do i really understand the holy mass??? but still im trying my best to complete my belonging for faith... then someoene introduce me the ISLAM, he told me how its is,, then just by him little by little i appreciate the religion, and also by watching a channel which explaining that religion i started to like but of course i need to think,, days passes and months passes still im afraid.. if muslim community can accept me... because i lived my life without limitations,, then afraid maybe they will tell me you doesnt deserve this... but i want to be complete... i want to be closed to god, i want to appreciate his word,,, and i want to be saved,, then i ask my muslim friend to come with me i wanna go to fanar, i want to make sajada... when i came everyone welcomes me... everyone has a smile on their face, no question who am i,,, just a warm welcome,, i just cry and cry, because of happiness,, the feeling of no rejection, the feeling of being saved.. searching my purpose has ended,, fear of tommorow fades, now i love being a muslim,, and i am so blessed im one of them... now my name is MARYUM..... a new name, and a new life...