Hard Hearts

I used to think people with hard hearts were just folks who lacked faith or, at the least, people who didn't wanna understand it or in rebellion to it
. That’s what I used to think, well until last night's Tarawh prayers when I realized a hard heart.
While driving back from a night out with a good friend, I was just contemplating my life as I hit the gas harder and harder suddenly I had this rush feeling my brain was overloaded with all sorts of confusions and I just forgot to take my foot off the gas peddle or maybe I just didn't want to.
Suddenly something in my life was mystified and I couldn't pinpoint it.
This impacted me so much that but I somehow I managed to pull over to the side of the empty long road just stared out the window.
A thin layer of clouds was beneath the moon.
In my imagination, I thought about what it would be like if the heavens split a sunder and I was able to see God. I know it's impossible I was just drawn into my sadness as I considered this.
. For the first time, I realized that I have wandered so far, far away from faith that my heart lost it's GPS and spirituality became irrelevant to my life..
And now I know my heart is officially dead.’