How old is reasonable for a girl/boy to marry

How did this thread end up discussing masterbation, hodge-podge, and Islamic arguments? I'll just add another "hijack thought".

Having children too young is not healthy, I agree. But another problem is having too many children. For some parents who can handle it, it is OK. But...IMHO...for many parents, they have many kids b/c of arrogance and so others will notice. I know some couples who have many kids and each kid is loved and respected. But I know (and observe) many couples who don't love each child enough. They let them play by themselves and rarely spend enough time with that individual child.

Maybe this is my bias...I want to have only 2 children (dd and d?) so I apologize to those who successfully show love to all their many kids,

I believe that when both the boy and girl reach puberty is a good age. From 15-20 is a good age. I am 16,  and when I am 17, I am going to get married with a beautiful and nice girl, and shes 25.

i think teh right time may vary from person to person... i wud say its the time when you know you are ready to take all the headaches in life and are ready to settle down with that one person... which may turn out to be good or may turn out into a disaster... lol...

well i wud say.. 22-25 for gals and  24-27 for boys...

Sorry i disagree emotionally mature lies with each individual some people mature more than others. I've met people in their late thirties - forties who are still emotional and imature!

As for financially independant I know plenty of people who managed to bring up a family and provide a good home at that age.

It also depends on which country you live in (inc job life style etc)

Is this from your experience Alik.

What is wrong with masturbating? is it illegal?

For your elucidation 'hotchpotch' is indeed a common expression in the UK, meaning a mix or medley. It might have been adopted from India during the Raj although I am by no means certain.

"you can't google Islam!" just made me giggle, how about Yahoo?

"Deaths in the Bible. God - 2,270,365

not including the victims of Noah's flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, or the

many plagues, famines, fiery serpents, etc because no specific numbers

were given. Satan - 10."

btw...  How long ago did you hit puberty and why are you not married?

I've just read some of your statements!!  How dare you????  

Below are your exact words (including Typo errors)

"...Puberty, hence prvents them from the sin of masterbation."

"Mr. P, yes in islam it is one of the biggest sins, not just masterbation, even looking at a woman in a lustful manner."

"PM, I knew u would come up with something like that... So r u saying that having a girl friend and having sexual relations with a girl who's not ur wife is appropriate??"

I've met you personally and you seem like a pleasant enough guy!  But on-line you really do come off as a pushy, self-contradicting extremist nut!

Tell me!  Don't you flirt a little here on QL with some of the ladies?  Wasn't it you that asked a non-muslim girl from the QLSG out on a date recently?

How can you do this yet post such ridiculous statements?

Hypocritical, don't you think?  

PM I did not read what you have written above regarding masturbation. In fact that statement was in reference to the reality of sayings that are improperly quoted in this day and age by the vast majority of muslims. Also, please do not confuse me again with your experience of salafiyaa. As I have already stated what I am upon very clearly. You can take it for what it is and give me the benefit of the doubt or remain suspicious until you have proof of my character.

Islam is a very rich religion. And you will find many things the brailwees say that is correct and upon the Quran and Sunnah. That doesn't mean we take knowledge from them or revere them as a reliabe source due to all the haram laced within the halal.

Likewise, what a person is upon, who they are, their intentions are all very important when following them. All of which can be sussed out in their islamic work, fatwas, talks, and writings and compared to the Quran and Sunnah and to see if they are upon the right path. I.e. when 2 people are in a dispute refer it back to the Quran and Sunnah!

Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi

no if a muslim trusts me alone without knowing me and what I am upon then yes that would not be reasonable.

Neither should I ask this of any person.

However, the scholars who declare what they are upon for the world to see and give fatwas based on the Quran and sunnah and understanding of the first 3 generations should be trusted. And one can easily find out through hadith and by studying very little in order to give them this capability.

laziness is no excuse.

Furthermore, the rhetoric you discuss is very different to citing the words of known and famous scholars who have proven themselves to follow only reliable Islamic sources.  And remember that knowledge mandates actions PM>

So without action then one has no claim to knowledge!

And I do think it is a great crime to cite the opinion of scholars without explaining the social implications and islamic regulations regarding it. For instance, masterbation is well known to be haram due to an authentic hadith of the prophet. And is an " eating pork if your starving" type of relief if one has tried all the other methods of prevention and finds himself in an unhealthy situation where he is with a girl and about to have sex with her yet masterbates instead. Providing this is a situation that he does not regularly get into and he tries his utmost in avoiding being alone with a women and lust of the eyes of women (which is also haram).

Insinuating it lesser then being haram and not letting people know the extent of its permissibilty is a very grave error on any muslims part when passing knowledge and it is important that we let people know the conditions which surround the matter rather than making blanket statements.

Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi

Oryx the difference between doctors who search the internet is that they only read reliable sources.

For instance, my husband will never take research unless approved and validated by the royal collage.

Similarly when taking Islam it is extremely important from where we attain our information.  And only those who lack in serious knowledge would take from sources who are proven to not be trustworthy!

And this can be easily investigated much like medical publications. They may not always be right as being human gives us rooms for mistakes. At the most, they will be a starting ground to doing our own research on what does and doesn't have evidence in which we live our life. Much like the doctor uses the same when dosing out new medications and in his/her practice of medicine.

Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi

we are  big family and everyone is learning Islam someway.

and I am not rich to own all volumes (Bukhari, muslim, Abu dawood, ibn majah, Tirmidhi) but my siblings own all treasured books. 

I attended islamic conference in Mumbai sometime back in Nov 07 .  I didnt agree with all the scholars, one was my fav topic PEACE WITH ENVIRONMENT by Mokhtar Maghraoui, got upset with him as he was not giving me enought proof

a scholar yet . Where the hell do I stand

http://www.qatarliving.com/node/98433

with link

and plural is hotchpotches (pulling my grey hair)

hotchpotch - a stew (or thick soup) made with meat and vegetables

stew - food prepared by stewing especially meat or fish with vegetables

We prepare this delicacy dewani handi esp of Hyderabad btw I am not from Hyd.

I am not saying the ONLY source should be online.

All doctors read online articles... of course they do.

who has studied medicine online ?

I have clarified that in many posts. And if you are well mannered than you will come back with you views in dignified way.

I dont have problems with any scholars but I need names of scholars who are justifying mastarbation . So that I know  to which sect they belong and if they are Ahle sunnah wa jamah then I can write to them if they are not then its not my concern.

my comments were on the topic. Now b4 jumping you have to read all the comments I didnt start this filthy topic. PM is the one who posted her comments  so I wanted clarifications my question was who are those scholars. 

I am not the one who went off the track, and who is insulting whom? can you read properly

Eco if it was just Islam you were practising, you should know that Islam teaches us to avoid fighting and insulting others. If you feel so outraged on this topic, why read it? The only other choice is to discuss it in a civilized manner as PM is doing. 

How does a person search knowledge?

a) reading

b) listening

c) talking

d) thinking

So surely if one googles a topic it comes under A?

through  righteous scholars, and it takes years of hard work.

 Why do you want to blame Dr. Qardawi for this hotch potch, I will definately post one  of HIS fatwas later in the the evening

What's wrong with 4?  My sister married someone 10 years older.  dd marrying a 14-year-old is suitable.

thats the reason I asked who are those Scholars

 quote

some other scholars believe that the transgression meant in the aforementioned verse refers to extra-marital relations and what falls under the category of Zina (adultery). According to this view, masturbation does not fall under the meaning of this verse. This view is very close to the opinion held by the Hanafites (followers of the Hanafi school), who maintain that masturbation is basically forbidden, but it may be permissible under the following conditions:  

1. if the person is unmarried,

2. if he or she fears that without masturbation he/she will commit Zina, and

 unquote

Read that para carefully see  how our liars (scholars) are confused with their own words first it is said forbidden than it may be

 First I wont even consider it as fatwa  bcos it is not answered by any Sheikh

And I am schocked to learn that you are relying on Wiki even my 8 yr old never takes info from wiki  for her school work.  And here we are discussing Islam the most sensitive topic  where misguidance is biggest sin, we are making haram things halal and the liars dont even of that fatwa cant even mention whose opionion is that, which pornoland do they belong, if i have names of those scholars than I can write to them and find out their porn mentality.

 Read this hadith carefully

On the authority of Masruq (may Allah be pleased with him) who reported: We visited `Abdullah bin Mas`ud and he said to us: O people! That who has knowledge of any matter may convey it to others. And that who has not knowledge of it, should say: Allah knows best. It is a sign of knowledge that a man who has no knowledge of a matter should say: Allah knows best. Allah said to His Messenger (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): Say: No reward do I ask of you for (Qur'an), nor am I a Pretender.

 this hadith warns us  against overdoing anything. one shouldnt give legal judgement unless he is sure of the answer. 

Is 4 OK?  I want to introduce dd (darling daughter) to a neighbour's son.  It would be a perfect match.  They could be their own ring bearer and flower carriers in the wedding ceremony.

At 4, kids are so innocent and beautiful.  They can't make any mistakes!

in open forums. No scholars can make Haram things Halal. I am here to present pure Islam not the corrupted version

into 72 sects and only one will enter Paradise

Now I want to know who are those SOME SCHOLARS PM is referring to. We cannot use the term somebody said, someone said,my  grandfather said, my father said. We need to know name of the scholars , I need the link or  book pages where this is mentioned. 

You know, I've thought it before, and I'll say it here,  the divisions within the Muslim world on such basic matters astound me.  NOt even basic agreement on what is "sinful" (what a horrid word" and what isn't.  Inter-faith dialogue is not the pressing issue it seems to me, but rather intra-faith dialgue in the Muslim world is the place to start.

Anyway, good on you PM.  I can imagine that that must have been a bit of an awkward conversation for all, but it was a must.

I need to Know who are the scholars, Name is just enough and I would appreciate if you post the link of your source.

doesnt make me man. Right I remeber you are the one who was looking for man online to go out what was that eve called

and I have to report to qatari for your perverted topic

  PM, i admire your courage to discuss that serious matter to your children, i think that you are in the right track. I agree with you..

"There's nothing we can do to change the past, if it teaches  you a lesson profit from it then, forget it."

PM i never thougt eco is a girl, she used to be a man before, is there any fatwa of doing such?

  Sorry for intruding thread....

"There's nothing we can do to change the past, if it teaches  you a lesson profit from it then, forget it."

Pm..i have to agree with you on both, the contradictions of eco...i had to read the christianity one twice..as i thought my eyes are playing tricks on me...

and about the

quote

 even some of the so-called scholars say that masturbation is acceptable when it prevents greater sin UNQUOTE...

 PM who are those so -called perveted scholars

quote

 even some of the so-called scholars say that masturbation is acceptable when it prevents greater sin UNQUOTE

How do we make HARAM things halal here, who are they to justify .  Why those perverts  didnt mention about observing fast which strengthens faith and keeps us away from evil thoughts,

Why they didnt advise to be moderate in  eating and drinking

Why  ppl are not advised to stop watching haram erotic films/pictures

Why  didnt they advise to  keep ourselves busy with worship like reciting memorising

Why  the scholars didnt advise to avoid mix gatherings 

Perverted scholars perveted advice  May they all go to deepest hell

something that's been ignored here when the Quran or Bible is mentioned is that back when either was written, is that the age of death was MUCH lower..such as age 45 or less. That's why they got married so much earlier...plus the maturity levels of people back then HAD to be more because of the hardships they faced, unlike today. Also the reason they had more children...to keep up with the mortality rate of offsprings due to health related issues.  Everyone needs to keep things in perspective when dealing with religion and rules...see where they come from and consider the differences in times and lives.

Now, that being said...I quite firmly believe that marriage shouldn't occur in either sex until after age 23-24...until then, most young people are still trying to find out who they are and what they want in life. Plus they are no where near ready to have children, as they are barely out of the child stage, themselves.  As far as dating is concerned...I don't think children should date until age 16...at least that way you can talk with them and they MIGHT listen to you...but talking about sex and other issues should begin MUCH earlier...to avoid any misunderstandings of what can happen if you make bad choices.  Plus, informing your children of sexual behavior can help them avoid being abused by others.

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

so say (and this is for all of you who endorse marriage at puberty) u have a sister who is say 14...and she is lusts after men and wants to have s*x.

u wud just get her married cos, its a sin to m@strubate and have relations with men before marriage??

I dont see sense in this....

or r u questioning the knowledge of Prophet (saws)??? what common sense r u talking about here??? I dont get it? or (astagfirullah) r u saying that our Prophet was not mature enough when he got married at a young age??? 

--------------------

No human can stop racism and its easier to make a deaf hear u than an ignorant.

I knew u would come up with something like that... So r u saying that having a girl friend and having sexual relations with a girl who's not ur wife is appropriate??

--------------------

No human can stop racism and its easier to make a deaf hear u than an ignorant.

How boring a life it must be to be devout to yer religion...

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Mr. P

yes in islam it is one of the biggest sins, not just masterbation, even looking at a woman in a lustful manner.

--------------------

No human can stop racism and its easier to make a deaf hear u than an ignorant.

yeah right. m. is a big ish SIN

Please explain yerself young man...

[img_assist|nid=98726|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]

Honestly

that was zimbly awesome....

bravo

Puberty, hence prvents them from the sin of masterbation.

--------------------

No human can stop racism and its easier to make a deaf hear u than an ignorant.

Killer closing line :) 

Alik you may defend Islam,

i have nothing against the religion.

and ur right, just cause there are a "few" bad apples why throw out the basket.....

So waht does ur religion say about mmmm say sitting in cars, internet, growing you hair etc etc

and i reiterate, Religion is a way of Life, not LIFE......

there are two different issues being discussed here...

1) Children getting married  (the original post)

and REligion..... (your argument)

in any case im not a supporter of child marriages....

i think past 25 in most cases is a safe age.....

ulitmately its all a matter of choice and people below 20 can more easily make wrong choices.

Thats what I think Gumby

marriage is about 2 people who both are willing to take on the benefits and responsibility marriage comes with.

I.E. they have the same goals of having a family, working to support them, education, dealing with the stress and joys of children, and working together to succeed in these common endeavors whilst making it easy for each other.

 Love for me come with respect..

Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi

Nope, still not agreeing with you alik, culture is irrelevant, the biology of the brain is the same everywhere and 14-20 year olds are not yet adult.  They are not capable of making the sorts of decisions that adults make.  Comparing dating and marriage is like comparing apples and hamburgers, there is very little in common between the two.

Children are a possible and welcome result of marriage, but no the primary purpose.  Marriage is two people agreeing to support and love each other, children are optional.  

 i think its 18 - 25 for females and 21 to 28 males

 responsible already and both in legal age

try and try until you succeed

whey you ready you ready.. but i pro to 5 years different between men and woman. if the woman 25 and the man 30 that would be the ideal but now adays young kid got married because the prenancy accident. you married when you ready. of course 14 years old is not the age.

Everybody is right Everybody is wrong, it depend where we stand.

IMHO  right age is after graduation. 21- 23 yrs

I don't have children myself Withnail, but although what you're writing sounds obvious to me, I'm quite shocked to realise that it's not obvious to many parents in Qatar. 

I mean,parents should seek for the opportunity to be close to their children and if I was a dad I'd never let the maid be a surrogate parent and I wouldn't let my children get addicted to TV.  One doesn't need to be a rocket scientist to know such basic stuff.

I got married at 29, and it still didnt stop her from running off with someone else.

Marriage is a big reality check, and you have to be mature enough to face those challenges.

i think the UK age of 16 is too low, but thats what the law is so....

 you get married when you BOTH feel it is the right time in yer lives...Not cos of peer pressure !

[img_assist|nid=98726|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]

if u want me to defend islam.... i surely will....

just because, thr a a couple of corrupt muslims.... kindly dont blame it on islam.... rest u can figure out urself....

to be clear, i didn't mean only locals - there were many nationality of kids alone in the nursery (each baby carrier had a tag with details including nationality on it), but mine and the brit baby were the only ones where the parents consistently tried to room in and be there.

but i don't really see the locals as stand out parents either (i'm not saying they are bad, but they don't stand out as models of excellence for me).  i keep hearing people say qataris are so loving with their kids, but i just don't see it - you need to be with your kids, touch them, help them, nurture them.  even when you're changind a diaper, it's an opportunity to caress your daughters legs and coo-coo her and bond with her.  if your maid is doing most of the work, then you're not doing enough as a parent, IMHO.

i see a lot of qatari men walking around with the family, which of course is great, but more than once when the kid starts making a fuss i see him/her getting passed off to the maid or wife and the man goes off unti the kid settles.  many westerners use the TV as a babysitter, so i'm not not saying that all westerners are great parents, but whether it's the maid or the TV, both are poor substitutes for a parent.

___________________________________________

"Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day." Withnail & I

Well Withnail, basically I was referring to other nationalities, not Qataris.  Although many locals seem to leave everything to the maids and they might not know how to perform everyday chores which is just sad, at least they seem to be good parents.  It's the Qatari men who spend a lot of time with their children and take them to the mall, the park etc.

U should try waiting 3hrs for your gyno appointment at HMC

it is very sad... mothers who have no interaction (body language/talking) with little kiddie winkle and are about to plop another one out.

Really no talking/playing/affection/not even eye contact!  Just swotting it away like a pesky little fly.

It really upset me. I just wanted to pick them up and cuddle them and tell them how lovely they were.

Formatted Soul...

I didn't mean to say marriages are not important... All I wanted to say is most of this marriages end up in sepration due to wrong decisions made by there parents (arrange marriage) or themself's (love marriage)

I agree with baedaebok, getting married at matured age is more important for stronger relationship, but it does not mean those who are married at younger age don't have stronger relationship.

there are many things that Muslims say is given in the Quran about how to live life etc etc, but people like Alik pick and choose the convinient ones and disregard the rest.

now just for the sake of argument say he wud marry a girl he loves who is 15.

and just say she wasnt good in the sack so by the time she is 16 alik can say "divorce" thrice and get rid of her......and then u have a 16 year old divorcee who no-one will want to marry.....

The concept of interest on a loan is against the Quran....but then if this was striclty followed then there wudnt be any banks open in Qatar.

Alchohol is also strictly prohibited in Islam....but u go to Oasis, Ramada and u will find people sitting in their dish-dash having a beer.

now these same idiots will have a 15 year old wife at home.....

i hope ur getting the drift.....cos im lost... 

this argument could go on on ....ultimately its a matter of choice that you make. 

and please dont quote religious texts from teh Quran, Bible....etc...

that is a guide to life....it is NOT life....or you wouldnt have had a brain.

Gumby with regard to what i said about the main purpose of getting married well in my culture its like this...u get married...and the next question every Uncle or Aunt is gonna ask u, is say a year or two down the line, is how many kids do u have? But seriously why do people get married for is it not to raise a family together? 

Keeping that in mind i fail to see the LOGIC in getting a child married off just so she doesnt fall into the temptation of having sex. that just makes no sense to me.

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

sadddd

not paying attention to babies seems the norm here.

my wife and i recently had a baby and we were told that we needed to ask the nurses to keep the baby in our room during our stay at the hospital because the only time the locals had the baby with them was when they had company and wanted to show it off.  when the guests left, out went the baby.

and when i took our daughter to the nursery for a diaper change, it was always full, especially at night.  aside from our neighboors who where brits, no one else had their baby with them at night.

it was pretty sad. 

___________________________________________

"Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day." Withnail & I

 Yes I am.

Visit www.qatarhappening.com

are u seeing anyone :P?????

 Well sucks to be you, but the answer is still not getting married and having children as teenagers.

Visit www.qatarhappening.com

break up happend at all ages, at all levels of commitement...

its just that,, everyone works harder to make a marriage work that to make a relationship works...

all theze relationships and marriages demand alot of compromises etc,  and after marriage, u have a stronger reason to make a compromise..

I was at the hospital the other day and I saw some parents who were a disgrace.  Is was obvious that they didn't know why they had sprogs: they didn't pay any attention to them, they didn't seem to care that much, they didn't even know how to hold them properly for crying out loud!  

This makes me think that perhaps it's a long way for some to get over the step where society determines them aspects that should be left to the individuals' judgement, such as when to get married!

such training and practices are not allowed where alot of us come from...

relationship practice, sex practice, kissin practicce. it certainly sounds gud but unfortuantly we aint allowed to do so.....

Dating is NOT marriage, not even close. It's relationship practice, like putting training wheels on a bicycle.  The answer to less teen pregnancies and STD's is not marrying the child off as a teenager, it's educating them about the consequences of sex and making birth control widley available.  A Girl having a child at 14 is still a problem for society no matter if that girl is married or unmarried.   

Visit www.qatarhappening.com

Don’t you think its good that you didn’t marry her when you first fell in love? otherwise it would have been more difficult for you to break up right?  

That’s what I was trying to say, it’s not wise to marry a person just because of physical attraction there are lot more important things involved when it comes to marriage... I personally don’t believe in Sex before marriage ... (probably because its not allowed in my culture)

religion and society effects wht u do and wht shld be done in many ways...

so keep everything in mind.... i am working wid all americans here... and everyone iz divorced .. they all got married prettyy late...

divorce and problems.... well it can occur at any age at any time

i dont think anyone under the age of 20 should get married...especially boys...my job is to plan weddings and every single couple that was not yet in their 20s is either divorced or having serious trouble in their marriage...i got married myself at 24  but it didnt end well(thank god not for a stupid reason like those above:PP).

WHTS THE GAURANTEE that  they will not get attracted to someone elze if they will be married at a later age??????

love/ infatuation can be mistaken at any age..... people cheat on their patners at all ages.

i am single coz i had a terrible break up and i just thought never to get into this stuff again... but well its just me

what if they get attracted to someone else after sometime and they realize that what they felt at very young age was not love it was just infatuation?  

Instead of going through all the hassles of divorcee, its better to get married when they are emotionally more matured say between 24 to 28 for men and 22 to 25 for girls.

You said you are single...is that because you never felt the urge for a gf?  

dw and I married when we were both 35.  We were mature enough to know how to serve the other.  In Canada and Korea, I dated younger women but they weren't ready for marriage.  It was about appearance, or just going out to be seen, etc.

Because dw and I are similar age, we think alike.  I wouldn't want to marry a woman 10 years younger than me.  It is fun in bed and walking in the mall to be seen.  But in terms of maturity, meaningful conversations, and similar interests....I'd prefer someone my age.  Not a twentysomething woman....tempting as it is with all these young unattached ladies walking around Doha! 

We are discussing about AGE for marriage and not divorcee ..lol  Are you trying to say... its not important to get married?

i am just not a fan of  having to test drive 10 girls/ boys before getting willing to settle down

i mean to say that.....

if  someone feels a aruge  to have a bf/ gf......

they shld probably get married...  and ddo whtever they were planning to to wid the bf/ gf , wid thr patner...

romance , sex, sweet talk whtver...

that way, they can make they life patner, their  permanent gf/ bf

More couples filing for divorce on ‘silly’ grounds

Published: Monday, 21 April, 2008, 01:55 AM Doha Time

By Kanu Sarda

NEW DELHI: The ground beneath Rajni Sinha’s feet slipped away when her husband said he wanted to end their three-year-old relationship because - guess what - she did not dress well! And this after having a “love marriage” - unlike most Indian marriages that are arranged by the families of brides and grooms.

The divorce petition filed by husband Sanjay Sinha said, “Despite several requests, my wife does not wear modern lifestyle clothes. I just can’t bear the comments from my friends that my wife is not stylish.”

Rajni said: “I was shocked when I received the notice from the court.

It was unbelievable. We had a small fight a few days ago and after that I came to my maternal home. But it was a small quarrel and could have been solved easily.”

She said the ground was baseless because she had every right to wear the kind of clothes she wanted to.

“It’s my fundamental right to wear clothes of my choice, traditional or modern.

“Nobody has the right to force opinions on me. If he wants to divorce me on this ground then I think he doesn’t deserve my love, dedication and sincerity,” Rajni said.

The matter came up for hearing early this month at the matrimonial court in Tis Hazari. The court also found the ground amusing and suggested that the couple give it some more thought.

Rajni’s case is not an exception.

“Marriages end in divorce because people rarely discuss their expectations in detail prior to tying the knot and are less willing to work on their marriages afterwards,” a judicial officer said.

“They look for quick solutions rather than resolving issues. People have divorced their spouses for trivial reasons like snoring!”

Kamal Singh Pundhir, a lawyer who deals with matrimonial cases in the capital, said: “Earlier, the common reason for divorce was mental or physical torture but now it has more to do with incompatibility, adjustment problems, temperamental differences and intolerance.”

He said growing levels of impatience in relationships were making couples opt for divorce.

According to an estimate by the judiciary, nearly 136,000 weddings are registered here every year. Conversely, nearly 10,000 divorce cases are filed in Delhi every year and 10 cases on an average are filed in one court in the capital every day. Around 12,000 divorces were cleared last year.

Last year, a man dragged his wife to the Delhi High Court after the session’s court rejected his divorce petition calling the reason invalid.

The man had filed for divorce because of what he called his wife’s arrogance. She had refused to serve tea to his friend and a quarrel ensued.

The high court too rejected the petition and directed the couple to live together and solve the dispute.

According to lawyers, some other “inconsequential” reasons cited in divorce petitions in India these days include refusal to stay with in-laws, no desire to experiment with lovemaking or refusing to do household chores.

Husbands often allege that spouses do not have table manners or do not interact with colleagues or refuse to drink at parties.

“These reasons may be silly and minor, but once the couple is intent on quitting the relationship then not even the judiciary can help much,” said Manisha Jha, a lawyer who deals with marital disputes.

Jha recalls that a wife who once filed for divorce from her husband after six months of marriage alleged that he neglected her and spent more time in office.

“I advised her to join some hobby classes or start working, but she refused.

She was firm on getting a divorce. So I filed the case and it was sent to the mediation cell for consideration,” Manisha said.

Lack of communication also ends in divorces.

“You can’t have an effective relationship if either of the partners doesn’t discuss his/her feelings, can’t talk about mutual or personal issues, keeps resentments simmering and expects the mate to guess what the problem is all about,” Jha said.–IANS

Source: http://www.gulf-times.com/site/topics/article.asp?cu_no=2&item_no=214036&version=1&template_id=40&parent_id=22

i don't think there is such thing as right age for marriage...u should just do it when u feel u r ready for it....yet still, it doesn't guarantee a success. no matter what age u r. it's a lottery, always. 

If you're looking for a problem, you're probably gonna find one.

Alik - ur sentence Makes No Sense ..... friend !!!

if u are ok wid gf/ bf am ok wid making my gf my wife....

doing whtever i would do wid my gf to my wife......

 Friends !!

I guess leave it to the Boy Or Gal, when they want let them get married and have a Dozen of babies and live Happily after.....

watz the point in breakin our heads .....

Peace .....

and whats wrong with having a gf or bf at that age  

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

well yes...

thr iz a rite way and a wrong way...

people are going to do it anwys... so y dont do it in the legal and the rite way??????

everyone has a gf and a bf at the age of 14 today... ... y iz it ok to do whtever wid your so called partner .... and y iz gettign married sooo wrong?

hes not emotionally mature to get married,, but he iz mature enuff to have a gf at 16 ???? iz this wht u are trying to tell us?

i think i've made my views clear on the age part in my first post alik,  my whole point to ur view of a child getting married off just coz she might have some sexual urges is what i have a problem with...lets say she doesnt get pregnant, but her husband has sex with her anyways coz he's "married" either way she is gonna have sex its just there is the right way and then there is the wrong way.

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

i didnt get wht u want to ask.. and am not married yet....

Did you marry before 20??

I don’t think a guy will be emotionally mature to get married at that age and obviously they won’t be financially independent.

I feel there is no END to this Topic....... so i better SLEEP Zzzzzzzzz......

i waznt trying to prove anything.. just here in office, everything iz written in caps...

well, yes ,,, i am that kind of person...

well lets take this slowly...

wht do u say, whts the age for gals to get married??? and whts age for them to start having boyfriends?...

SO ur saying u did all of wht u just typed ?? or u got married at 15 ???! 

alik lower ur CAPS ur not gonna prove anything with that. Secondly if ur going to argue with me u might as well READ WHAT I WRITE, i said for the sake of ARGUMENT. Now i can tell u a lot of cases where kids get pregnant at that age after getting married so dont be a freaking moron and say otherwise. 

Islam may be a logical religion but I DONT HAVE TO AGREE with what Islam says, so just dont come here to discuss something based on what Islam tells u to follow, your the kind of person who will say something like If Islams tells me to Jump off a bridge then there must be a good reason for it.

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

BOYS SHOULD DEFINATLY BE MARRIED BEFORE 20'S ASWELL.....

OTHERWISE THEY WILL JUST GO ON MATSUBATING OR SCREWING SOME OF THR FRIENDS...

LATE 20'S OR 30'S....

THR IZ NO WAY, THAT U CAN REFRAIN FROM SEX FOR THAT LONG.. NO POSSIBLE WAY....

AND IF U ARE TALKING ABT MATRUITY,,, WELL AGE HAS NOTHIN TO DO WID IT, U WILL C 16 YRS OLD MORE MATURE THAT 40 YR OLD ...

AND MARRIAGE NEVER STOPS U FROM GETTIN TO YOUR FULL POTENTIONAL.. BUT IT DOES GIVE U A PARTNER TO SHARE UR SUCCES AND DOWNFALLS WID..

NONE OF HERE WILL DISAGREE TO HAVING A BOYFRIEND AT THE AGE OF 12 OR 16 OR WHTEVER.. THAN WHTS WRONG WID GETTING MARRIED AT THIS AGE????

THEZE DAYZ,, THE RELATIONSHIP IZ THE SAME WID BOYFRIENDS N GIRLFRIENDS  ....

THIS WAY THIS IZ UNETHICAL AND UNLAWFULL...

GET MARRIED EARLY BUT DONT HAVE ANY KIDS SIMPLE....

ENJOY YOUR ROMANCE FOR 5-8 YRS, INSTEAD FOR ENJOYING IT WID UR BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND...

WHEN DID I SAY  THAT SHE HAS TO GET RPEGNANT JUST RITE AFTER GETTING MARRIED.....??

ISLAM IZ A VERY LOGICAL RELIGION, IF IT SAID SO, THERE MUST BE A VERY GUD AND STRONG REASON BEHIND IT... MAY BE U n ME ARE NOT GETTING IT, BUT IT IT SAID SO, THR IZ A VERY GOOOOOD REASON BEHIND IT...

I WILL NEVER AGREE TO A GIRL GETTING MARRIED AT 12.. BUT AT 16 YES,, I WILL DEFINATLY RECOMMEND IT.

boy no limit but gal at 16... but child after25...

There is no easy answer for this, but certainly 18 is far too young.  I child of that age is not even fully educated yet or functioning intellectually as adult.  That doesn't come until 22 or 23 or thereabouts.  Marrying as a teen will just continue the cycle of familes living a marginal life and not pursuing their full potential.  Much better to wait until late 20s or early 30s when then are better suited to the role and have the resources available to make a successful go at marriage.

BTW, I disagree quite strongly that the main purpose of marriage is reproduction.  Be interested to hear how many agree or disagree with the idea that that is the main purpose of marriage. 

hey we are not debating here what islam says or what mormons say on the age to get married. Secondly sexual urges lead to sex? so tell me then what exactly is the point of getting A 8 yr old girl married? to prevent her from having sex? lol now lets see for the sake of argument u do get a 12 or 14 yr old girl married and then she gets pregnant...i wonder if she got pregnant through immaculate conception?

My point is if u think a 12 yr old having sexual urges is wrong, but its ok if she gets pregnant at 12 if she's MARRIED? u get my drift?

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

is between 22-30...i'm sure by that time, both are intellectually & emotionally mature and is ready to face life rationally. (although, I married when I was 18)

this idiotic chat ruined me...

even in some reports in office... i placed Z instead of a couple of s's and my boss made quite fun of me....

he didnt even give it back to me to correct it and forwarded it directly... luckily ,,, everyone here iz a  fun loving person.. so it waz not made a issue... otherwise..... mannnnnn

Do you write all s's as Z in Pakiztan??? lollol

sexual urges lead to sex.... if u get a chance that iz...

islam iz not a big fan of such things....

and i dont know if u a muslim or not, but if u read islamic history, u will find plenty of events supporting my argument...

and no body iz stopping them from playing wid dolls and no one iz saying to get them married to 80 yr old men.....

but my friend... a fact iz a fact,  and theze sexual urges are leading to all theze pregnancies,,,,,

give me a break, we've all been through that "age" having sexual urges is normal for a growing kid(raging hormones)  that doesnt mean u run and marry them off.  Marriage is about becoming a family, setting up a home...a 12 yr old girl is supposed to play with dolls not grown men.

_[]~SMoKE~[]_

according to islamic point of view, when a girl or a boy reaches the age,,, it migth be 12-16 for girls anf 14-18 for boys, they should be married..

so that they would not engage themselves in sexual activites...

for me ,, 17-20 for girls and 18-22 for guys....

but again its just me

I think the proper Young age to get married would be 18 for girls and 21 for boys...as this happens to be legal adult ages for both sexes. I wish people could understand the basic need for getting married, its to reproduce and i dont see how a Grown man can even think of reproducing with a little child its f'ing disgusting. 

_[]~SMoKE~[]_