Joint Family System. Myths & Realities

I have never lived in a joint family system and grew up envying my friends who used to have their grand parents, aunts, uncles and cousins living with them. I always longed for the wisdom and the love that the grand parents bestow on their grand kids. I moved abroad only four months after getting married so I didn’t have a chance of living with my in-laws, either.
Now, I watch a lot of Pakistani and Indian soaps in which almost all the stories are based on joint families. In every story apparently one person (a woman all the times) is the designated qurbani ka bakra. That person always faces humiliation and rejection from the extended family she is living with. She swallows her tears and plasters a smile on her face and continues to be a happy qurbani ka bakra. I've heard similar real life stories from some friends, as well.
My question is more about living with nand, jethani, devarani etc. not mother/father in-laws.Is a joint family a façade of a family in which people who don’t really get along live under one roof and pretend to be happy and which needs continuous sacrifices and compromises on daily basis,
or there is more to it than meets the eyes?
I would like to know the myths and the realities associated with joint family system.