Men as well as women are affected by their hormones and once they are out of balance, there is no amount gym work-outs, singing, praying etc., that will get those hormones back in balance again. You need something that directly affects the chemicals in your body that are out of order. This is why you must be properly assessed by a medical person.
There are many folks like yourself, all worried by the 'stigma' of feeling suicidal, or mentally unable to cope. It is often a genetic problem, and if you speak to your parents, you may find that one of them has or had the same problem, or maybe your grandparents had it. In their day, very little could be done, but now there are many medications, both chemical and herbal that can combat depression.

My mother suffered severely, and I would have too, but I was fortunate to have a great doctor, who sorted me out as soon as I 'confessed' to being unable to cope.

I had severe depression, and was suicidal at one point - driving foot to the floor in my sports car, and not caring whether I killed myself or not. Thank goodness that is all behind me, and stayed that way.

You need help, and you can't do this alone. If you'll call me, I'll put you onto someone who will help you, without having to embarrass yourself by going alone to the doctor again. This person is a doctor, a qatari, who is a specialist in this field.
My mobile is 5206824 - please call me.
Angelwings