Brin - First question that comes to mind is, "Are you both American?" Cause it sounds to me that you are but he's not. Hence the response from the embassy. Even if you do marry here and he's not a US citizen just being married does not grant him instant access to visa's and citizenship in US (given that the US and Australia have somewhat similar immigration policies)and his visa can still be rejected, which leaves you were? I have known people who have been down this track before and it's not a pleasant one. Best if he is not a US citizen to apply for his visa and marry in the States if this be the case. As for getting married in far of islands while it seems to be a great Idea most people I know also do the civil thing at home as well just to be on the safe side, knew a couple he was british his wife a british citizen, that married in spain when he went to apply for adoption of her daughter it got ugly as they found out that the marriage in spain was not recognised out of the village they were married in and it cost a lot of time and a lot of money to rectify the whole situation.