My dear Jauntie,

I feel responsible for Bryans's disappointment at La Mer. I should have briefed you properly beforehand.

I agree entirely with his obesrvations but unlike him, I continue to dine there as I have discovered some ways of reducing the hardships and ameliorating the dining experience. Please suggest to Bryan that in future he takes the following measures.

1. I send my butler in advance to ensure that I have the least objectionable table. This table is then screened off from the rest by the erection of panels. I have my butler hang a selection of original paintings by Matisse, early Picasso and Van Gogh. This removes the ghastly view of the Pearl development.

2. While I enjoy a full bodied Rioja as much as the next fellow, I prefer a crisp Chablis or a Chateau Lafitte with my Maine lobster. I send my butler in advance with a selection from my own cellar. I am happy to pay a reasonable "corkage" charge in order to further enjoy the dining experience.

3. Finally, I send my own pianist to the venue in advance. He plays carefully selected works of Elgar and Debussy which I find comprise a perfect complement to my evening.

I urge you to persuade Bryan to employ the above steps. Believe me, this is the only way to make the La Mer a tolerable venue.

Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi