.... it boils down to the preference of a woman.

there are women who like big ones (in terms of length and girth), simply because, they are big, too. some small women like big ones, too, coz, some women would like to experience too much pain and later, the pleasure. some women love to endure the pain. some women love dirty sex, etc. it's all about the individual's preferences.

on the other hand, some women also love to be caressed, cuddled, kissed, and they like the foreplay more than putting the 'pencil' inside them. remember that women can have multiple orgasms. men can only have one. that's why not only men, but both partners, should work hard in order for them to enjoy the moment. i mean, it's not working hard, but, the appropriate is, just enjoy the moment.

for me, the best thing to do before the act is to have good communication - both verbal and non-verbal. both parties should talk what they like and love. do they like just to have sex? or they both like to make love? or they both like to have sex and make love altogether?