I would say losing control really scares me.

That is to say I gat a physical and mental reaction when I think it going to happen.

Potential violence really scares me and I worry I will freeze if it ever comes my way, but when it does happen I am ok, it is the potential that I struggle with.

Also I am scared by the thought of doing something stupid that will hurt one of my kids, I have horrible daydreams of things happening to them because of my stupidity.

I.E letting them go the shop on their own and never seeing them again, or them getting run over when I tell them it is safe to cross.

It is freaking me out just thinking about it.

Whenever I get like this I ring them just to hear their voice, but I usually get "what do you want Dad, I'm busy watching the telly, shall I get Mum?"

And that makes me laugh and I realise everything is ok and I am just a big daft pudding.

Call me Maninibat!