Dear Sameera,

I feel very sad for you and what you lived is the most difficult thing that can live a mother.

I really believe that you should trust the doctors. Maybe your baby could have live a few days or weeks but with many problems as the doctors said he hasn't grown properly.
And imagine what you would have felt to see this tiny baby suffering for finally not surviving. Your decision has just, most probably, saved you baby some days or weeks of pain. I have seen my small brother spending the 4 years of his life in hospitals and his tiny body marked from too many operations. No baby deserve to live that. So do not feel guilty, your decision was wise even if it is difficult to accept.

This small innocent is now calm and happy in Paradise and I pray for him and our family.

For your next trip, I think you should ask your doctor if you can travel safely.

Hope you can rest during your holidays surrounded by the love of your family.

Take care.