Azilana, I think you are dead right, the phrase Independant woman is intimidating to most men, normally when a woman says it, the warning bells go off in a mans head. I think the media only depicts what it hears said by some well known "Feminists' as this makes good news especially if its controversal. I think in the end as you say, its through converstion and communication that one finds out what sort of person one is talking to.
And you can still be independant in a realtionship, as long as the realtionship plays a role within your independance