I have spent one Christmas here and it was terrible. Lonely and depressing. Of course, being in peak physical condition, I spent 4 hours at the gym, 3 of which were spent staring at my perfect body. After that the day went rapidly downhill.

I spent the Christmas evening with the usual fat slobs that inhabit this city. Communist Canadians, Boring Brits, Fussy french, Irritating Indians, Passive Pakistanis, Perky Phillipinos. None of them were in peak physical condition. trust me. Christmas sucks here.

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. Oscar Wilde