I'm overweight.

I promise myself I will do something about it.

Then I have another plate of chips.

If I was good looking too, it just wouldn't be fair on the rest of the guys.

I never get any adverse comments about it. But perhaps that's because my (very) short haircut and the scars on my head and eyebrows make me look as if I would rip the head off anyone who looked at me the wrong way. Which is, of course, completely untrue. I'm an angel.

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"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places". - Henny Youngman