Dear Mr. John,

I refer to your letter dated 23rd November 2008.

I regret to inform you that you will not be considered for the position of lover, much less spouse.

Notwithstanding the fact that you are not entitled to an explanation, but out of goodwill, the following are the reasons for the decision, in order of priority:-

1) the fact that you're applying for the position of a lover before marriage is a breach of religious rules and moral code.

2) the initial shared expenses you mentioned put you in the clear definition of "friend" only, if at all.

3) the taking of a larger share of the expenses based on your assessment of my performance, coupled with the reasonably foreseeable future of you sponging off me shows a character that is best avoided.

4) the fact that you met me in October but took one whole month to come up with your proposal shows that you are disorganized and tardy, a characteristic that is best avoided.

Thank you for your kind interest in me but there is a lake you can jump into. I wish you all the best in your future endeavours.

Yours sincerely,

Juliet

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Don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama