Hope,

The rules in the marriage contract will work if your husband respects islam and honors his contracts.

If he doesn't you will have to go to a respected family member, a religious figure and maybe ultimately court if he doesn't abide by what is in the contract and you can't live with it. Raising a legal complaint or charges against him would most likely cause big problems in the marraige and could result in divorce. It is considered a big insult to most people for a wife to complain to the court about her husband.

Most of the times it doesn't result in that. Most of the times the men respect the conditions. Some of my sister in laws who are Qataris married to Qataris have conditions: right to separate accommodation (not with family), right to work etc and in all cases they have been honored their rights.

I would say the four most important points to discuss and agree on are:

1. if you will convert (shouldn't do this unless you are convinced)
2. what you will be expected to wear
3. your freedom of movement: where you can go and where you can't
4. working/money: Islam puts the financial responsibility of providing the basic necessities for the family on the man. Any property or money that a woman owns is hers, to do with as she pleases. She may spend on her household/children if she likes and it is considered sadaqa (charity)from her. She should cover the expense of things related to working that would not be incurred otherwise: ex: different/nicer clothing/abaya/shoes for work, transportation to work.

From the family, the person who is most likely to make things either great or miserable is the mother in law. Make it clear that you will respect her and treat her well, and that she should do the same for you. MIL is usually the key to the rest of the family. See how she treats the other brothers' wives. If they are happy with her, you will most likely be too (unless they are all near relatives of hers).

If you work hard and are diplomatic, you can have and offer your children the best of both worlds.

Good luck!!

Um Ali