from my perspective here in the US. A white woman who moved at the age of 18 across my country to work as a housekeeper/nanny.
I was a live in. I did NOT 'have permission' to make long distance phone calls at will-though I did receive calls and did occasionally call home. I had 1.5 days off a week and worked from the time I woke up til the time the little girl went to bed. Not non-stop, but like a mom, making dinner, doing laundry, shopping, taking to and from school, being a room mom(at the age of 19!)ETC. I did not feel free to use the family grocery money to buy my favorite things. I did not think that my boss owed me shampoo, lotion, makeup, clothes. I did not have health insurance or paid vacations home (I did get two weeks off paid). I did go on some 'working' vacations. I was given the freedom of the family car in the eves. to go to church or a movie(which I paid for) when it was convenient to my employer. I don't think I was a slave, taken advantage of or abused. I was treated too much like family in some cases, and too much like a servant in others. But you know what? It was my job. I knew that when I got it, I had respect for my employer and was conscientious in caring for her child. I knew that the nanny before me had left that little girl alone at home during a nap-some people will take advantage. But my employer did not treat me any better or worse than the girl before me. If you treat people with respect, a decent person will return that respect-whether employer or employee. If that balance is off at the get go, I don't know how you can restore it. And some people aren't decent.
I can't believe there are soda debates going on! If the girl is taking too many, it is likely that she figures she will be lucky to get another one. Or that it is 120 degrees in the shade! Be patient about that kind of crap until you figure out how things are working. What is the saying? Don't sweat the small stuff. I know it isn't ALL small stuff, but much of what is discussed here is very petty. We need to choose our battles. Your kids and the safety of your homes are paramount. It is important to not be taken advantage of, but taking advantage because you have the upper hand as the employer is just ugly. Do unto others. As an employee, I didn't want to be treated as family, but I didn't want to be treated like a slave either. (Personally, when my employer would leave used tissues all over the bed/floor/couch as if she had a vacuum following behind her, I wanted to quit. It was that kind of thoughtlessness that made me nuts. Throwing it in the trash was too much trouble?) She had been an expat too, and her last assignment had been Mexico, but she treated me a with a lot more respect and decency that people seem inclined to treat Indian or Philipina women with here. They came for something better and knew they would have to work hard. But so do most people when they take any job. You put up with the crap until you figure out that you don't HAVE to.
Your treatment of your employees should not be a reflection of their former home, but should be a reflection of YOU. Who do you want to be?
I am sorry if I have offended anyone, but I thought the perspective of a person at both extremes of the service industry might be a useful interjection here.
from my perspective here in the US. A white woman who moved at the age of 18 across my country to work as a housekeeper/nanny.
I was a live in. I did NOT 'have permission' to make long distance phone calls at will-though I did receive calls and did occasionally call home. I had 1.5 days off a week and worked from the time I woke up til the time the little girl went to bed. Not non-stop, but like a mom, making dinner, doing laundry, shopping, taking to and from school, being a room mom(at the age of 19!)ETC. I did not feel free to use the family grocery money to buy my favorite things. I did not think that my boss owed me shampoo, lotion, makeup, clothes. I did not have health insurance or paid vacations home (I did get two weeks off paid). I did go on some 'working' vacations. I was given the freedom of the family car in the eves. to go to church or a movie(which I paid for) when it was convenient to my employer. I don't think I was a slave, taken advantage of or abused. I was treated too much like family in some cases, and too much like a servant in others. But you know what? It was my job. I knew that when I got it, I had respect for my employer and was conscientious in caring for her child. I knew that the nanny before me had left that little girl alone at home during a nap-some people will take advantage. But my employer did not treat me any better or worse than the girl before me. If you treat people with respect, a decent person will return that respect-whether employer or employee. If that balance is off at the get go, I don't know how you can restore it. And some people aren't decent.
I can't believe there are soda debates going on! If the girl is taking too many, it is likely that she figures she will be lucky to get another one. Or that it is 120 degrees in the shade! Be patient about that kind of crap until you figure out how things are working. What is the saying? Don't sweat the small stuff. I know it isn't ALL small stuff, but much of what is discussed here is very petty. We need to choose our battles. Your kids and the safety of your homes are paramount. It is important to not be taken advantage of, but taking advantage because you have the upper hand as the employer is just ugly. Do unto others. As an employee, I didn't want to be treated as family, but I didn't want to be treated like a slave either. (Personally, when my employer would leave used tissues all over the bed/floor/couch as if she had a vacuum following behind her, I wanted to quit. It was that kind of thoughtlessness that made me nuts. Throwing it in the trash was too much trouble?) She had been an expat too, and her last assignment had been Mexico, but she treated me a with a lot more respect and decency that people seem inclined to treat Indian or Philipina women with here. They came for something better and knew they would have to work hard. But so do most people when they take any job. You put up with the crap until you figure out that you don't HAVE to.
Your treatment of your employees should not be a reflection of their former home, but should be a reflection of YOU. Who do you want to be?
I am sorry if I have offended anyone, but I thought the perspective of a person at both extremes of the service industry might be a useful interjection here.