With pleasure..

You've been in the west too long if:
- When a waiter brings the bill to your table, you take out a calculator to calculate your exact share of it.
- You call a friend to remind him of the 10 riyals that you paid for him at a grocery store. (.. and you'll add the cost of this call to what he owes you.)
- You're surprised that you cannot find an Arabic translation for the term 'biological father'.
- You expect your 21 year old daughter to pay you rental if she lives under your roof.
- You think your local friend was kidding when he threatened to kill you after you'd asked him to introduce you to his sister.
- You mention your dog's name when asked about your family members.
- You think it's perfectly normal if you yell at your mom if she doesn't show respect to your dog.
- You're shocked that your 70 year old dad wishes to live in your house instead of dying alone.
- You act cool when your wife says to your mom: "Shut up and get out of my house!"
- You expect to get away with a crime pleading 'temporary insanity'.
- You fill a bottle with water when you need to use public toilets.
- You think you need a paternity test when a stranger asks you casually if the child you're holding is your son.