Who is to blame? Your husband is! As infuriated as you are with the other woman - she - technically - owes you nothing. Because it is he, who made a commitment to you. And about it being 'hard to be alone and feeling weak' - hey, every lonely expat doesn't pick an affair to fill his/her time. Anyway here's the thing: my advice is, don't try to get in touch with the other woman. That will only lead to making you feel worse. Getting even with her? Don't even go there. It's not worth it. She's not worth it. Right now you deserve support, love and respect. So kill all thoughts of her and rage at him instead! Then when you are done - sit and have a good think about how you can move forward - Take care.