Domestic assistance is essential. If it is a small place, you probably won't need a full time maid, and it is easy enough by word of mouth to locate someone to come and clean a couple of times of week.

If you are considering the hotel residences, you might like at the Grand Hyatt in West Bay options. They have a variety of sizes, good facilities, and a nice little beach. I was there for about six months. The downside of these places, however, is that it is hard to develop much of a sense of community with the high turnover--mostly people passing through for a couple of months. If you go the compound route, it's easy to settle in. Just select a large compound--better facilities, usually better maintenance, and more choice of new friends. The larger compounds will have a nice pool, clubhouse, restaurant, small park, gym and tennis courts. Ours has tennis coaches and hosts various socials for the residents. You'd have to go out of your way not to make friends.

Plenty of people in your demographic, but most expats seems to have children in tow (but then I have young kids and that's my very narrow world). My advice is to use the weekends to travel regionally as much as possible. Doha's airport is a good hub with flights just about everywhere. Those couples I know who are kids-free generally do this and love it.

Good luck with your move.