Can you vote on this topic please ?
By Straight Arrow •
Are you with polygamy or no?
As a woman would you like to have one husband or two?
Are you with polygamy or no?
As a woman would you like to have one husband or two?
and unique in being THE wealthiest nation in the world.
It would not be scientific, to say the least, to take observations of Qatar, and use that as a measuring stick to judge all of Arabs and Muslims, much less Islam.
First, as a Muslim you know yourself that there is a wide gap between the ideal of Islam, and the current state of Muslims. And to spend too much breath defending ourselves as we actually are would be a waste except when it is in defense of truth and fairness. I have enough real faults as it is to put up with kafrs making things up.
Secondly, yes. If perhaps I think about the small town I grew up in Missouri to the wealth of Doha, then there is certainly a lot more materialism and greed here. But if I were to compare Doha to an equally wealthy place in the U.S. then it would be hard to believe that there is that much more greed here.
What there is more of here, but less than in most of the Arab world, I think, is monopolization, the sort of nepotism which kills efficiency, an unfortunate emphasis on irrelevant forms of status (e.g. family and tribal membership) over quality work and capability, and extremem disparity.
None of these are healthy in Islamic standards. Remember the Prophet warned not to be destroyed by what destroyed those who came before - which was that they were strict in punishing the poor but leniant in letting the rich get away with things.
He warned but the Arabs after some time did not listen. So, it did certainly harm them, and is destroying them, at least socially.
Still, they are my brothers and I am with them in the same boat...whether they all acknowledge that or not.
I have witnessed jealousy, envy, greed and materialism on a scale I never knew existed in the West. It really was a shock to my system and while I might have found it curious in the beginning, I now see it as so un-Godly it's hard to even believe you are in the heart of Islam. Maybe you haven't been here that long. It would be interesting to see how you feel after 10 years.
I refuse to drink the kool-aid! -- PM
But only using it as a perspective through which to view American culture.
No. It is cruel for a man to make such a competition between his wives. The same cruelty happens between unmarried people through dating, flirting, etc. It also occurs when someone is flaunting wealth. Whatever intentionally provokes negative feelings that harm a person's contentment and inner peace is a sort of cruelty. This is the reason for the hijab, and also for the prohibition (only for men) of wearing gold or silk.
Part of what I wanted to make noticed is how much of contemporary western consumer society is centered around the drive to provoke such feelings - lust, envy, jealousy, etc. in others about one's self. The "if you got it, flaunt it" mentality.
That people in the west are now so addicted to this game, is the reason why they react in such horror at the idea of hijab, especially, as if it nullifies any reason for a woman to live if she does not strut her stuff.
So I was only trying to see polygamy through the competition lens to make a point about this cultural trend.
but maybe it is different for girls because I did not see sex as a sport and did not like the notion of competing with another woman when my heart was involved. I really can't relate to what you are saying here. Perhaps the painful reality of so many polygynous marriages hits too close to home to me.
In fact, I would think that Islamic polygyny when practiced properly (if there is such a thing) is not supposed to make the women feel in competition with each other. I always thought it places a tremendous burden on men to make sure they are not hurting their wife/wives and make each feel special in her own right -- not compared to the competition. I don't think most men are able to fulfill that role and I expect to see a lot of "paralyzed" men on the Day of Judgment. Moreover, I think it shows a lack of faith that so many take the matter so lightly. It seems to me they are living for earthly pleasure with no concern about accountability.
I refuse to drink the kool-aid! -- PM
Polygamy would be completely in line with the American spirit, if we were to remove the restrictions that Islam puts on it.
Then, it would represent the complete open season competition that American culture is based on, extended into the area of sex.
I saw an online question posed to the scholars at Sunnipath.org, about whether sexual enhancement drugs were halal or haram. The answer given was that so long as they do no damage your health, they are halal. However, the answer also pointed out that in Islam, sex is not considered as a sport.
To me that statment said it all. In the west, more and more, sex is considered as a sport.
So my point was that, if polygamy is viewed from that competition angle, then it would in fact be very American in spirit.
Because I doubt that you can find too much sympathy in that culture for the "toll on self-esteem" as you called it. Think about it. Weren't you a teenager in America? I was. How was it for you?
and what we know is that based on the Quran and hadith a Muslim man is allowed to have up to 4 wives providing he can support them equally and divides his time equally. A Muslim woman has the right to choose not to be in a polygynous marriage and she can divorce a husband who chooses this against her wishes.
Muslims feel that polygyny is a right granted by Allah and although it may not be advisable to exercise every right, a man who is hell-bent on having more than one wife will do so, using his religious right to do so.
I'm not really sure what you are trying to add here or getting at with these links but believe me, this has been discussed endlessly and I seriously doubt anybody will change their minds. If you are interested in Islam I would suggest you find a good imam near you to talk to. Many of the internet sites can lead you down the wrong path (submission.org being one of them).
I refuse to drink the kool-aid! -- PM
More thoughts on polygamy:
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Koran or Quran Noble Verse : Sura 4:3
http://www.submission.org/suras/sura4.htm
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http://www.answering-christianity.com/polygamy.htm
Women hates sharing,but men likes it don t you ???AS a men would you like to share you wife??!!!
Thank you.
before you post about something being allowable in Islam you should really do your research carefully, rather than just take one person's word for it.
The only FIRM requirement is that the man be fair among his wives with regards to time and money spent. And one cannot exceed having 4 wives at a time.
I refuse to drink the kool-aid! -- PM
A friend who is muslim clarified for me that multiple marriages are allowed by the Koran only in cases where the wife cannot bear children - specifically sons to carry on the family name -- and that some men abuse this allowance by simply bringing a younger wife into the family for his pleasure. And ask for her blessing. What if she says I cannot give my blessing? Does he go ahead with the second union anyway? Why can't men simply wait until they enter paradise? Why make their wife's life more difficult here on earth?
Having known women involved in polygyny I found it really sad to see the toll it took on their self-esteem and the way their husbands played one off against the other to gain "top spot". I realize that not all polygynous marriages are like that, but all I have known are.
Also, outside of religion I have to agree with Gypsy. If it is supposed to be so easy for a woman to accept her mate sleeping with someone else, then men should be able to handle it too. The fact that you know you cannot, shows you know it also presents a serious hardship on women -- even if it is "allowable" according to religion or law.
I refuse to drink the kool-aid! -- PM
Polygamy can't be wrong. The Great Kings did it.
Competition brings out excellence...
Some answers here is R(A).
Some answers here is R(A).
we are just different and you know that!
I don't see why men find it so difficult to accept another man sleeping with their wife, while we women are supposed to accept our husband sleeping with another woman.
Is it tree-some?
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khalid, if you are one of those two husbands, do you'll accept thta the second guy sleeps with your wife?
===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
Yep kind on the same track. One is that you only have one opening for a lot of dirty laundry and the other is a lot of openings for one laundry.. get it?..
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HE WHO DARES WINS
so what is the difference between polyandry and poly laundry?
Is it wet cleaning and dry cleaning?
===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
All i know...
I want polyguiness.
TO THE HARP!!!!
KH for your information :)
In social anthropology, polygamy is the practice of marriage to more than one spouse simultaneously. Historically, polygamy has been practiced as polygyny (one man having more than one wife), or as polyandry (one woman having more than one husband), or, less commonly as group marriage (husbands having many wives and those wives having many husbands).
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HE WHO DARES WINS
For all of the Pro-Polygamist out there.. I mean one man and more than one wife.. One serious question.
Can a man in a polygyny (one man having more than one wife), marriage, share a bed with two of his wife at the same time? Like a threesome?
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HE WHO DARES WINS
two women and one man ok at a time...
"Helping HANDS r better than praying LIPS"
Two husbands for one wife? In this case I wonder what is the difference between polygamy and adultery
===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
I don't think I could Manage a Trois :o)
one husband is enough trouble for me. methinks.. two would be a man- made disaster, like chernobyl:-)
usapa na...
Everything you do affects those around you, as long as you aren't hurting anyone, who cares?
They should not affect the society or community.
Two men and one woman only one think comes to mind.. "Debbie does Dallas"..
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HE WHO DARES WINS
I know a couple of women who've married much older men, and agreed readily to it. They found older men to be more finacially stable and mature. It wasn't the way I would have chosen (obviously) but it's what they wanted.
NO.....one only.
one at a time means......avoid sleeping with both at a time.
Aana free, jaana free,
Pakde gaye tho khana free.
I refuse to believe any 19 - 25 year old lady would volunteer to marry a 45 to 55 years old guy. This would be highly exceptional and not common. Further more it is immoral. Impregnating woman at a young age takes away their possibility of proper education/development and such.
one hell of a way to keep females 'low'.
Probably a lot more than you think. Yes there are still cultures that force women to marry, but I don't see the difference in forcing a 19 year old woman to marry a 45 year old man or a 19 year old man. Forced marriage is still forced marriage, and that shouldn't be allowed.
yes sure.......and this 'consenting' is happening how many percent of the time?
Not very creative Stone Cold...
-Front
-Back
-Top (oral)
busy, yet not impossible...
I see no issue with it as long as they are both consenting.
Gypsy,
Now I wish I would have stated
45 year old rich guy marries a 19 year old girl
WRONG.
dead wrong.
Backwards.
lets see if your opinion changes.
Double post
I recommend 2 enough for a women. I mean, one from the front, and one from the back.."at any one time"
Polygamy... yes if you have the strength of a horse to conquer 4 mountains per night.
Yup, and that's why there should be laws preventing marriage until the age of 18. In most Western countries there are.
50 year old rich guy marries a 17 year old girl
WRONG.
dead wrong.
Backwards.
I would say cause we're living in the year 2009 we need to be more openminded about this stuff. The defintion of marriage is no longer 1 man and 1 woman, and family no longer means 1 husband, 1 wife and 2.5 kids. There are lots of different types of marriages & families, and who are we too judge what's right and what's wrong if they are all consenting and happy?
We are living in the year 2009,
Polygamy within marriage= No
Multiple partners/wives = No
For Islamic Societies/Muslims I would say, marry a second wife that needs your support financially or so. But refrain from having sex with her.
Personally I would not go for it or allow my husband to do it. However, I would support others rights to it, if it's what they truly want.
Why not, forget the birds, take a lesson from the bees!
Golden rule: "Dont do to ur wife if you dont want her to do the same thing to you." ~ this summarize everything. ^^
lol...!
sai and jude... exactly!
LOL!!!
Life's a bitch and then you die! ;)
one husband at the home country and one boyfriend here?
one husband and one boyfriend ....
MyHotComments
polygamy? ... maybe, it's okay if the man is polygamous but not the woman, they should be loyal to their husband only.
ok... one husband and one boyfriend...
how's that?
Life's a bitch and then you die! ;)
of course only ONE coz my heart beats only for one guy...and it would be double trouble if that happens,lol...
keiko san
Why Polyandry Fails: Sources of Instability in Polyandrous Marriages
http://www.case.edu/affil/tibet/tibetanSociety/documents/02.pdf
see:
Why is a man allowed to have more than one wife in Islam?
URL: http://www.qatarliving.com/node/408861
"In bygone eras that it was once the duty of the ruler to lead their men in battle, in other words when their country went to war the rulers would be there in the thick of it and due to this there was always the probability that they could end up dead, saying this when there sons became of age it was also expected that they would too follow their fathers into battle. Now given this it was almost impossible to be assured (given the lack of any medical advances to ascertain sex of the baby before birth)that one women could keep giving birth to a male heir in case the king and his eldest sons were killed in battle, so it was common sense to have more than one wife as this increased the chances of more male heirs, this theory spilled over into the higher class citizen (the wealthier men of society) populations as well.
If you don't like it why keep talking in this topic
If you don't like it why keep talking in this topic
No Vegas.. the jury is still out on the topic;-)
No Vegas.. the jury is still out on the topic;-)
keiko san:
Berreman, Gerald D. Pahari Polyandry: A Comparison American Anthropologist February 1962 Vol.64(1):60 –74.
See fourth article at: http://www.publicanthropology.org/Archive/Aa1962.htm
I’m totally against the double trouble…
DNA must test both Child and Father
It means 3 tests
You can't teach experience...
I know of a sect in india which practiced polyandry marriages ie, all the brothers shared one wife.. It helped them to keep the stability of the family and its assets! Now bck 2 the topic..If the heart can accommodate more than one true love and b true to all.. then why not!!!
Read: Too Many Husbands
In the high Himalayas, polyandry has the sanction of immemorial legend
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,893129,00.html
it's not a problem drac...
u can have the child's DNA test...
MyHotComments
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BIG NO!
With 2 husbands....how do you know who is the father?
.
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NO!!!!!
one at a time... lol :)
polygamy? i still have to think about it....
MyHotComments +
Having one hubby is such a headache...
How about from Man side?
Only one women?
No...
One man for for one women...
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Reality is a Illusion Caused Due to Deficiency of Alcohol
I have enough kids thanks ;)
smile lots laugh more
I am with Polygamy - Yes
As a woman , i would only like ONE husband..
lol at One at a time good one
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What? NO!
one of course! one at a time...
;D
Life's a bitch and then you die! ;)