Domestic abuse hotline in UAE; why not Qatar?

i've only been here for 4 months and I have met various women and some teenage children who are being physically and psychologically abused. In addition, the whole family lives in fear of the abuser and the young children are damaged growing up watching physical abuse in their household. The cycle continues, silently and destroys individuals' souls. We turn to our families for love and support and security but when we become abused by the very person who is supposed to love us, we do not want to turn for help. My main concern is that abused children (and yes it is happening here) will become adults and may treat other individuals based on their experience. I happen to be a Muslim, born and raised in Canada and America and I have learnt that Islam is very loving religion, a way of life and the more one studies it in depth the more one realizes that it frees you and never preaches abuse of any kind. Yes friends, being a Counselor I have seen a lot of abuse and helped "sew up" many children's physical and mental wounds. We all have to remind ourselves that we could have been these women or children or men! We speak of these "hot-lines" which do not end abuse, the person is usually terrified and won't be able to even place a call. We need more awareness, more exposure, more advertisement and have someone available in schools, hospitals, doctors' offices and even the workplace. I do not yet know how but I will try to find a way to help any way I can, regardless of your faith or your gender or race or age. That is what makes us human. Please let me know if anyone is interested to help instead of just comment on QL about "abuse hot-lines". Enough said.

http://www.gov.qa/wps/portal/!ut/p/c1/04_SB8K8xLLM9MSSzPy8xBz9CP0os3gjAwsDA39311BjPy8jAyNTP-MAkxBLQwMDA_1wkA6zeD9_o1A3E09DQwszV0MDIzMPEyefME8DdxdjiLwBDuBooO_nkZ-bql-QnZ3m6KioCACG-Ikt/dl2/d1/L0lDU0lKSWdra0EhIS9JTlJBQUlpQ2dBek15cUEhL1lCSkoxTkExTkk1MC13ISEvN18yMDgwME9HRVUzTkoyMDI1TjNQNFQ5MTAwMw!!/?WCM_PORTLET=PC_7_20800OGEU3NJ2025N3P4T91003_WCM&WCM_GLOBAL_CONTEXT=/wps/wcm/connect/cnt/en/1_home/14_ministries_and_authorities/fcc_en/fcc_min

مركز الاستشارات العائلية

tel 4327777 - 4892888

fax 4878360 - 4867972

p.o.box 22877

[email protected]

www.fcc.gov.qa

@ deepb,the domestic abuse being referred to here is primarily that of the domestic help & the hotline in question has been put in place specifically to counter allegations from Amnesty international & other human rights organizations of large-scale domestic help abuse in the mid-east & that the authorities aren't taking any concrete steps to deal with the same, but it does obviously cover "domestic" abuse per se...

Interesting...

Empowering women and children begins at a very young age. Preschoolers must be taught and trained to identify their rights and assert themselves.

The word abuse is so general and I think we can discuss any kind of abuse here.

Are we talking about domestic abuse or domestic-help abuse ?

I agree with calculator - however, until the stigma is placed where it belongs, on the abuser (where that person bears the shame and dishonour to the family for acting abusively to anyone) this will take a long time to change. It's not just here, it was the same in the West/Europe for centuries, battered women did not speak out and their abusers were allowed to treat them literally as property as women had no legal rights of their own.

Fortunately, under Islamic law, women do have some specific rights - whether they are enforced/recognized often depends on men - who may interpret them to the advantage of one party or the other. It comes down to the people involved, if someone wants to sweep it under the carpet or of someone wants to have a fair hearing and resolution, depends on the person and we are all very much fallable.

And hotlines and government/legal recognition of this being a problem is a giant step in the right direction - I just hope it doesn't take Qatar as long as it did in my and many other countries to recognize and fully support women to have the right to live without fear and with respect and dignity.

I believe that Qatar is progressing slowly but positively in the right direction, probably a good strategy given the cultural and social customs/attitudes/values - you can't make these types of changes with a bulldozer and a court order - people naturally balk at change, especially such fundamental ones to the accepted way of handling such issues.

Signature line > "You can't fix stupid"

My question what is the best thing that can prevents people from abusing others?

There is a hotline for domestic abuse..I've seen it adverised many times..There's a shelter as well for abused women and children..

@ bleu,i don't need to be sarcastic just like you don't need to be defensive,fair enough?...let's put some facts on the table here,a significant % of the world's domestic help are in the middle-east & purely because of that reason,the chances of abuse are higher simply because the numbers are higher,would you agree?...i for one,interact with a number of i'd say fairly well-off Qataris & i will NEVER generalize because of this specific experience that i have...the common factor is the money,all of those i interact with are let's say,fairly wealthier than the average Qatari BUT there is a significant difference in the way they treat their domestic help & that is a reflection on their upbringing...so please mate,quit being defensive & accept that there are some Qataris who treat their domestic help extremely well JUST LIKE there are some who treat them like dirt or even worse...domestic abuse is RAMPANT in the mid-east MUCH MORE so than the rest of the world...the sooner you people accept that,the sooner the world will take you seriously & the sooner you'll can actually do something about it...you can't deal with a problem you don't even accept exists...& no, you are NOT ALL abusers BUT would i be fair in saying that there are enough incidents to justify some action,the LEAST of which is this hotline...

marycatherine,

It depends on the family, many families are educated enough not to blame an abused woman.

It wasn't that way 10 years ago.

it sounds like there IS already an abuse hotline here.

But it also sounds like it needs to be advertised more effectively.

And from what I have heard from mental health professionals here, the organization sponsoring the hotline needs to do a better job of advocating for the victims of abuse (read: intervening and providing assistance to victims).

We in the West are used to authorities sticking their noses into private situations when there is a question about behavior/abuse, treatment of people, living conditions, etc. -- and even then, it's supremely difficult to get victims to come forward and report the abuse because they are fearful of the repercussions.

That is much more of a concern here because the local culture attaches such great importance to privacy and family/personal reputation.

It's a tough line to walk.

That said, it would be interesting to see a break-down of the stats on reported abuse in Qatar thus far.

How many have to do with:

local families (Qatari)-vs-expatriates

domestic workers filing complaints against employers

child abuse complaints

sexual abuse complaints

female-vs-male perpetrators

"If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it between sh*t and syphilis in the dictionary."

- David Sedaris

Bleu, I did not say the hotlines are not useful - what I wanted to emphasize is that abused women need more support from society, ESPECIALLY their families in order to be able to either change their situation or escape it if need be in order to be safe.

Many abused women are victimized twice, first by their abuser and second by their families who do not provide them with needed support - whether that be providing a safe secure place or just being a sympathetic ear who wants to help her..

Signature line > "You can't fix stupid"

Islam has secured all human rights and these rights are not performed by some Muslims.

These Muslims who does not respect the workers rights search forweak points in their countries laws and policies.

ok i raise my hand first or both hands first

YES YOU ARE ALL ABUSER.

:P

geez man did you see what that guy commented about me on Facebook i can reply back nicely, or could be a nasty one. but leave it let them grow up.

gadarene, no need to be sarcastic.

There is some domestic abuse everywhere.... I just hate it when people claim that we are abusers (all of us).

then i think there is no use of Human rights here too they shouldnt exist.

"there is no domestic abuse AT ALL here,so why do we need a hotline or coldline or whatever?"...

I find the human rights here worthless useless and you are talking about Hotline helpline.

Khalid,

We are not comparing....

Many people who are coming from UAE say that here in Qatar people have much better behavior than those in UAE.

Also in Emirates the taxis complains about some UAE people.

You must also know that there are some UAE people who are much better than here in Qatar, and vice versa.

It is only the percent of people, now in Dubai the population exceeds probably 1.5 milion and as the population increase the probability of more problems such as abuse increase in most cases.

The abuse happens because people do not realize that there is God who is watching them and they do not reallize that their actions are counted.

Abuse can happen in many ways, I think not giving the salary is one form, in our religion we are asked to give the worker his money before his swet dry, this is to show the importance of being fair and responsible for others.

Always remember if you do something bad and unfair you will sure later suffer for not being fair with others.

Always be good from the beginning and the natural person who does not have physcology or mantality problem will always like people to treat him very good, therefore the natural person will treat the people the way he want to be treated.

UAE/Dubai......

The impact of recession is much higher on jobs and build depression. Consequently, the disharmony and domestic violence. One could not stress out personal frustration in office, so home is the best place.

We should have a similar set up to Protect Domestic violence team of experts :)

marycatherine, abuse is not acceptable... Nobody here is against having a hot-line... We may already have one that's not advertised enough....

Privacy is one thing, not being subjected to mental and physical abuse on an ongoing basis is another. These women have the right to expect to be treated with dignity and respect - not abused by people who are incapable of communicating rationally.

The hotlines are a good thing, but like I said in my first post - she has to have a strong family support in order to be able to take the necessary steps to remedy her situation, whether that be counselling or up to divorce. A lot of women don't have any place to go if they find their situation unbearable, and often that is because the family finds it shameful that "she" has caused this situation (when in reality she hasn't).

Signature line > "You can't fix stupid"

Thats one option of course. Just like in any other city, the bus and taxi serve as a mobile advertisement bill board. The major ones are even painted on commercial aircraft bodies. The effectiveness of this campaign will be measured by the number of abuses recorded. In the case of Qatar, it looks like its woking well since the number are very minimal or zero.

Well I come from a totally different culture than Qatar but still we prefer the women in our families to seek the help of family and friends before involving any unknown person in family matters.

Family matters have to be kept within the family, we value our privacy.. If we can't help at all only then they can look for help outside..

http://skadian-lifeinqatar.blogspot.com/

You look at the empty part of the cup and do not see the other part. Is no such thing as the perfect. If the advertised was in the back of a bus or in the front it's not a big change. At least in the back of the bus u will notice it.

Also there is a hotline if there is abuse, whether the child or a woman.

Alkhor living

I have seen a couple of times on the back of a bus a huge ad for a hotline for women and children , but both times it was just driving past so didn't get to read the whole ad. It had an image of a hand holding a childs hand, and said something about protection for women and children..... It's ashame thats the only place that ad has been seen, it's definitely something that should be advertised far better to a wider audience, not just on the back of a bus

The hotline would have helped for those in dire need to report abuse. Public awareness campaign of its existence as said above, is beneficial for the general public information. Good issue.

why would i worry if you are offended bleu?

progress

progression, not offended... don't worry. :P

bleu, you have just concretized my point. kindly read what i have posted, was it offending? i am very much aware that you have this different culture. is there any problem with that?

progress

I have referred people to the place you mentioned, but have also heard from mental health professionals here that that organization is rather useless because the authorities there are reluctant to get involved in "private family matters".

Perhaps a hotline would be better utilized by victims of abuse here because then they could call anonymously and get information before deciding to take the very public (and sometimes risky/dangerous) step of physically going to a building with that sign on it.

Alternately, if the situation was deemed enough of an emergency, the hotline could immediately call the police/hospital and dispatch them to the victim's location.

"If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it between sh*t and syphilis in the dictionary."

- David Sedaris

In certain cultures, especially with tight knit family units, it is poor taste to wash the dirty laundry in public. Solutions are first sought through the intervention of family members, mainly elders. Only if everything fails, do they opt for outside mediation.

There are hotlines here too, just more discreet. Thats all.

Gates of all homes are wide open for food distribution.

with grilled or low fences?

Concept of High wall is to keep women safe, out of sight, so that they can move freely in their gardens and swimming pools.

No one wants to cover inside the house compound

in Dubai

progression,

look at OUR fences... we like our privacy... actually OUR WOMEN like their privacy.

remember the idea that we have a different culture...

i believe the government is very much aware of the need of hotline for that matter. the question that they are tackling in my observation is that, is the citizen ready? look at their house fences, have you noticed a house with low fence. La, all are high fences. the reason i suppose is that they are very privy. making their domestic problem public is a big no no. in fairness no family or nation is willing to make their private life be exposed to QL. lol

progress

What Alkhor living said...

marycatherine, thanks.

stevil, arien,

Stop Qatari-bashing. You're not being constructive, and it's not funny. Thanks.

monster, your negativity is impressive.

There is a specialized office in Qatar, called the Center for Protection of Children and Women, Family and take care of domestic violence and trying to link to a positive solution and their place behind the Hamad Hospital through the hospital at birth and you're going to Doha Corniche.

Hope I helped u

sorry having taught UAE national women and Qatari women over a 10 year period they are no different from abused women in other countries, including my own. However, the social stigma of being a "bad wife" as opposed to a "strong husband" is very different in my culture to here.

I have seen women whipped with phone cords, bruised and dazed (both here in the GCC and in Canada). It happens everywhere, unfortunately, if these women do not have a family who will support and protect them they often feel they have little alternative but to stay with their abuser (especially where courts are favourable to the father and his family if they have children in the mix)

I was reading in the Gulf Times that Qatari ladies are either not marrying or getting divorces in unprecedented rates, because they are more educated or have more options? I have had students who have declared they will never marry because their options (their Qatari or Emirati possible husbands) are immature and the ladies don't feel a "need" to marry someone who will not respect them.

Signature line > "You can't fix stupid"

as domestic violence, Arien, though I doubt 99% of the calls would be from them.

I think you'd be surprised at the amount of spousal abuse and child abuse that occurs.

"If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it between sh*t and syphilis in the dictionary."

- David Sedaris

ummjake Having one, 99% of the calls they getting would be from the househelps I guess. Still you need a reason?

not a same country. That's why it's not in here. Or may be no domestic abuse in Qatar at all.