Maids - Perceptions and viewpoints

@britexpat yeah we will ,we are just giving her this last 99th chance...

So, get rid of her and get someone else..

Housemaids?.....Our housemaid is Ethiopian , bloody hell she cooks really bad, overcook everything, and gets angry when you ask her to do something.

Yesterday, I asked her for the millionth time if she was going to make tea, ask us if we want also, she got angry left the kitchen and went to her room while talking to her , and it is not the first time.

Even thought we pay her double the basic salary than others.

Some people are just not grateful .

The problem with them is that when you treat them very nice they just go kaboom on you.

....resistance from sponsors in recognizing the mental health problems of their maids is the major obstacle to applying OT (occupational therapy more widely in Qatar, Hussain added.

I must admit all the write ups that follow make for very interesting reading

http://dohanews.co/post/30029230883/health-officials-help-qatar-maids-cope-with-culture#axzz28n9L4L6R

I have seen really bad bad clips on youtube of maids treating small kids like pigs

Is this the selection of maid or a potential long term relationship accord....non sense mental test.

Mood swings and mental conditions are not stable at all time, so should have 3/4 tests, on weekdays, weekends, morning and evening times....lol

The "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggh!" was for the Dohanews article... :O(

Are we still not getting your point Brit?

FathimaH...true that...we may wish whatever we want but if we need results we need to know and appreciate the realities and act accordingly.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggh!

http://dohanews.co/post/30029230883/health-officials-help-qatar-maids-cope-with-culture#axzz28n9L4L6R

I think the above link is correct , maybe its cultural shock plus many other factors which affects a maids mental health condition.

But we don't live in an ideal world. It's like when we come over here for employment, we are subjected to medical examinations, checking of police reports, etc. But can we turn around and demand the same from our employers, specially the locals? We can't.

I suppose it should be a two way process. mental tests or whatever for the maids as well as the employers whether they understand their responsiblities in having a maid and their treatment towards them. Till now it was only they want maids to do this and that, be english speaking,etc etc and you get a employer who is a nutcase

I think they should Brit. Or at least both parties should be required to go through extensive background checks before a contract is signed. This is someone that is traveling away from their family to live with yours, so a lot of information should be required.

IMO employers may not be required to undergo mental health tests as they are under no pressure to make them go crazy (stated crudely). However, they may be provided education on how to treat a maid and more importatntly the recognition that a maid is also a human being wouldnt be out of place coupled with some serious punishments and I mean punishments irrespective of who or what you are for the offenders may bring down the number of offenses.

i think most have missed the gist of what i was trying to get accross..

"With so many reports of crimes being committed by maids, it is time the concerned authorities take notice and make it mandatory for all domestic workers to undergo mental health tests before their departure for the Kingdom."

Should employers be subject to mental health tests also ?

Guess good old days of wives staying back and taking care of home (with pride) was better way of arranging a home but then as they say you pay price for unshackling things and for those extended materialistic comforts.

Dependency on Maids........a big NO.

There are a few MNCs in India providing day care centre at workplace, a provide comfort and peace of mind for working women. This enhance job productivity.

Is it any wonder that some countries had even stopped entirely sending their maids to some of this places. The horror stories that come out of some of this countries regarding the abuse of this poor workers makes for really sad and shocking reading and its not suprising that some workers cannot stand the abuse and want to hit back though they are well aware they might never get out alive from this places

There is a limit to what people and specially the poor maids can take day in and day out in a strange place and when you are sort of held behind closed walls. This things were waiting to happen and its just sad that it happened to this particular family. People come to work out here from far away places just to earn a decent living and to help their families back home and a lot of them are so badly treated and some never get back home

Bringing some1 fully stranger and plant them in your house as member of your family is quiet diffcult to sollow.

What happened was really scary

cant imagine such things!

I chose not to use an agency for that reason. I didn't like the idea of not meeting and getting to know the person who would be caring for my child. And yes, we will have nanny cams put up when she starts. I've also checked her references for the last 6 years. You can't be too careful.

You are 100% right. There are so many people that have maids/nannys in place without the proper contracts.

It protects everyone. Plus, everything is clear as to what needs to be done.

A friend of ours had a maid/nanny and they did everything for her...yearly trips back home, weekends off, bought her clothes and gave her so many things.

She was with them for 5 years.

They started to find out that the 'money' being put in the piggy banks for the kids was being taken. Then they found out there was jewelry (not expensive stuff - like Claire's stuff) going missing.

Put up a nannycam and they found her entertaining her friends and dancing while the baby was crying in the bed.

It all comes down to the person. We are all taking such a risk ---- and actually, even through an agency overseas (reputable is a very lax word), you dont interview them, you dont do anything, you just pick them up at the airport and plant them in your house with your kids. If you are a business person, you spend more time interviewing prospective employees than being done for our own families.

Scary actually.

I am just wondering how western companies handle this matter, i really like the systematic approach by those countries

i have to agree with you all :) :)

Probably not Brin, but at least it does protect both the employee and the employer in some ways.

Yep.... and I'm sure those contracts worked out really well in this incident.

Somehow, I dont think that a contract is the first thing on a crazy maids mind when something like this happens.

I'm surprised how many people don't give their maid a contract. We have 6 page contract for ours.

To me, the best way is to have professional company ( I mean really pro) to provide housemaids and then look after them after they get hired, clear and long contract terms must be explained to both maid and sponsor. this contract should be really long at least 12 pages, covering all scenerios and take care of maids rifgts in every way.

This is a complete and utter tragedy.

The article mentioned she had been with the family for years and there was no problem.

However, if one does research on some of the gruesome stories that occur with 'nannys/maids', its not always that they are treated badly there are also medical conditions involved or they just 'snap' as many of us can do at any time.

The idea of nurseries in the workplace is ideal. For Qatar, MORE and BETTER qualified nurseries outside that are affordable and meet the standards PLUS work full work days (most western nurseries operate from 7-6 or 6-6.

For me, my husband and I decided 150% that we would not hire someone else to care for our child at home regardless. There are too many negative stories around the GCC about these similar issues noted in the article and I should not have to put a nanny-cam up to monitor a maid. This is a person who gets hired (regardless of the agency and the agency reputation - you are still dealing with a human being who can be good or bad) and takes care of your baby/child while you are away - they have run of the house, etc. My husband and I shifted our working hours to work around what was needed. We simply hired a maid twice a week to do what maids do... clean. That is all.

I know that this is not always possible to do what we have done but anytime you put someone else in charge of your children there is a risk. Even with a nursery, atleast there are more people than just one to monitor situations.

At the end of the day, we are parents and we must look out for the best for our children. The above is every parents worst nightmare and I cant imagine what they went through and are going through.

As a GCC society, we are too reliant on someone else (primarily nanny's) to care for our children. There needs to be alternatives as myself and all commentors have already mentioned.

There are abuses on both sides sadly.

There definitely needs to be some changes made in society, because it is far to dependent on maids and nannies. Day care is hard to find and expensive, maternity leaves are too short, and there's no day care available at work places.

I never thought I'd get a nanny, but it just got to the point that we realized we couldn't cope in this society without one.

This was indeed a very painful and horrific incident indeed.

After having read time and again of maids oppressed brutalized and killed around the Middle East, namely in Saudi, it's indeed unfathomable to think that there has been many cases like little Tala's(Raheemullah)murder. But as it appears that is what's happening.

I quote another article from the Saudi Gazette on this case where they have spoken to a doctor:

"Dr. Khalid Al-Oufi, consultant psychiatrist and medical director of Al-Amal Hospital in Jeddah and head of the psychiatry clinic, said the murder is a clear indication that there is a disturbing trend affecting many Saudi families.

He added: “I believe this crime was the last straw. We can no longer remain silent or ignore this trend.

“Every now and then a little kid get killed or tortured by a housemaid. Psychiatrists and social and family counselors should study this trend and suggest solutions"

If indeed this is all true, then can we not conclude that it appears that due to their severe dependency on maids, some families are so desperate to hire and then keep their maids that they are ignoring many laws and safety measures, which result in either the oppression, torture and deaths of maids or the members of the household.

I'll try to find the news clip on that.

that was gruesome....

The Indonesian maid allegedly decapitated Tala Al-Shehri, a four-year-old girl in her care.

what happened to Tala?

what did the Indo housemaid did to him/her?

I know you put "murdered"... but am intrested to read it as well.

thanks.