Widows of Vrindavan-- India

fanonite
By fanonite

VRINDAVAN, India (CNN) -- Ostracized by society, thousands of India's widows flock to the holy city of Vrindavan waiting to die. They are found on side streets, hunched over with walking canes, their heads shaved and their pain etched by hundreds of deep wrinkles in their faces.

A widow makes her way in Vrindavan, India, where an estimated 15,000 widows live on the streets.

1 of 3 more photos » These Hindu widows, the poorest of the poor, are shunned from society when their husbands die, not for religious reasons, but because of tradition -- and because they're seen as a financial drain on their families.

They cannot remarry. They must not wear jewelry. They are forced to shave their heads and typically wear white. Even their shadows are considered bad luck.

Hindus have long believed that death in Vrindavan will free them from the cycle of life and death. For widows, they hope death will save them from being condemned to such a life again. Watch how some widows are rebelling »

"Does it feel good?" says 70-year-old Rada Rani Biswas. "Now I have to loiter just for a bite to eat."

Biswas speaks with a strong voice, but her spirit is broken. When her husband of 50 years died, she was instantly ostracized by all those she thought loved her, including her son.

"My son tells me: 'You have grown old. Now who is going to feed you? Go away,' " she says, her eyes filling with tears. "What do I do? My pain had no limit."

As she speaks, she squats in front of one of Vrindavan's temples, her life reduced to begging for scraps of food.

There are an estimated 40 million widows in India, the least fortunate of them shunned and stripped of the life they lived when they were married.

It's believed that 15,000 widows live on the streets of Vrindavan, a city of about 55,000 in northern India.

"Widows don't have many social rights within the family," says Ranjana Kumari with the Center for Social Research, a group that works to empower women.

The situation is much more extreme within some of India's rural community. "There, it is much more tradition-bound; in urban areas, there are more chances and possibilities to live a normal life."

But the majority of India's 1.1 billion population is rural. "The government recognizes the problem," Kumari says. "It can do a lot, but it's not doing enough."

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One woman, a widow herself, is working for change. Dr. Mohini Giri has formed an organization called the Guild of Service, which helps destitute women and children.

Giri's mother was widowed when Giri was 9 years old, and she saw what a struggle it was. Then, Giri lost her husband when she was 50, enduring the social humiliation that comes with being a widow. At times, she was asked not to attend weddings because her presence was considered bad luck.

"Generally all widows are ostracized," she says. "An educated woman may have money and independence, but even that is snatched away when she becomes a widow. We live in a patriarchal society. Men say that culturally as a widow you cannot do anything: You cannot grow your hair, you should not look beautiful."

She adds, "It's the mind-set of society we need to change -- not the women."

Seven years ago, Giri's organization set up a refuge called Amar Bari, or "My Home," in Vrindavan. It has become a refuge for about 120 of India's widows. Giri's organization is set to open a second home, one that will house another 500 widows.

But as she says, "Mine is but a drop in the bucket."

At Amar Bari, most widows reject traditional white outfits and grow out their hair. Along the open air corridors that link the house's courtyard are green wooden doors, leading to dark tiny rooms, home for each widow. See the widows of Vrindavan »

Bent over by osteoporosis, 85-year-old Promita Das meticulously and slowly sweeps the floor just outside her door and then carefully cleans her dishes.

"I came here when I couldn't work anymore. I used to clean houses," she says. "Nobody looked after me, nobody loved me. I survived on my own."

She married at 12 and was widowed at 15. Seventy years later, she finds herself at Amar Bari. "I used to live in front of a temple, but then I came here," she says.

She carries with her not only the pain of a life without love, but also the loss of her only child. She gave birth at 14; her baby lived a year.

Another widow, Ranu Mukherjee, wearing a bright red-patterned sari, shows off her room at the home and wants to sing for her guests. The lyrics of her song are about a lost traveler.

"When did you come here after losing your way?" she sings. "When I remember the days gone by I feel sad." E-mail to a friend

By Arien• 14 Mar 2010 19:51
Arien

Who cares ..just another monger trying to defame a prospering nation with some made up figures...U DONT DESERVE MY TIME EITHER FANONITE.

Keep digging.

By fanonite• 14 Mar 2010 17:53
fanonite

based on my "ethnicity".

bravo! you turned this social discussion into an ethnic mud slinging.but i would never stoop to your level...

so what are the bad, worse and worst ethnicities in your world of ignorance??

YOU DON'T DESERVE ANYMORE OF MY TIME.. BUT FEEL FREE TO CONTINUE YOUR MUD SLINGING.

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By Arien• 14 Mar 2010 16:10
Arien

I guessed your ethinicity fanonite, from your previous posts.

The link you have provided on Mehtas work,doesnt have that statistics you came up with. Was it a dream?

By fanonite• 13 Mar 2010 17:24
fanonite

i have anwered you several times that i got my statistics from Dilip Mehta's Forgotten Women.

now,since you claim to be a very logical and factual person, now its your turn to enlighten me with your source of information about my personal life.

you said" Good to have concerns on others, even when you are worse than them."

you claim that i have worst life than the widows of vrindavan, please provide the facts and figures to prove your point..

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By Arien• 13 Mar 2010 13:42
Arien

Fanonite am having a gr8 day indeed , thanks.

You are yet to provide us where you found the statistics "40million widows who are in similar conditions".

By painther• 13 Mar 2010 13:24
painther

Ok, if WK says so, I accept his certificate. No issues with Fenonite; but issue here is not personal modalities but intentional cherry (smelly1 :D) picking!!!

What Arien is saying is Worth noting and stands firm.

In addition, Varanasi has much more such issues and we all know it well, issue is if it's worsening?, NO it's not; Good to note that things are on improving side.

Any1 who brings the darker issues (Indian Media doing it everyday basis, trust me) is always welcomed, Either me or Arien is NOT saying that we are hurt, why to?, just we suspect the intention!!! (arien finds some false info too!)

anyways, after WK's advise, issue is closed for me, on goddie goodie!!! :)-

By fanonite• 13 Mar 2010 12:20
fanonite

"Good to have concerns on others, even when you are worse than them. Great heart you have fanonite."

Arien, i like your sense of humor. have a good day.

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By fanonite• 13 Mar 2010 12:18
fanonite

there are some exceptions i.e. the far pavillions and the painted veil, two of my favourtie movies based on books. wonderful movies.

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By Arien• 13 Mar 2010 12:16
Arien

be it similar fanonite, still you are wrong. Beacuse India has only 2.72 million widows who live alone..

Good to have concerns on others, even when you are worse than them. Great heart you have fanonite.

By anonymous• 13 Mar 2010 11:54
anonymous

remember the Da Vinci Code...Oh...how I hate Tom Hanks in that role...

Source:

- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)

"Resident Attention Seeker"

By fanonite• 13 Mar 2010 11:52
fanonite

about the documentaries, movies and books.. i have read the translation of a great novel by Rabindranath Tagore, i don't seem to remember the name.. a very bad movie has also been made on that novel.

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By anonymous• 13 Mar 2010 11:47
anonymous

CNN is very authentic and brilliant when it comes to reporting issues like these. I'am a big fan.

Source:

- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)

"Resident Attention Seeker"

By fanonite• 13 Mar 2010 11:45
fanonite

my knowledge of this issue totally based on what i see and what i read and i only watch and read authentic, indian accounts.

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By anonymous• 13 Mar 2010 11:41
anonymous

Source:

- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)

"Resident Attention Seeker"

By fanonite• 13 Mar 2010 11:40
fanonite

there is a huge difference in both these statements.

if Dilip Mehta altered his documentary i will be happy to alter my statements.

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By Arien• 13 Mar 2010 11:35
Arien

You stated "40 million widows are in the same condition as the 15000 in vrindavan". which is a LIE , Exageration to defame the country.

Which shows your intention!!!

If you are not. You got to correct or change your statement.

OR keep throwing mud to keep yourself happy.

By anonymous• 13 Mar 2010 11:29
anonymous

has widows and I have not seen any of my family/friends treat them the way it is described here. This looks more like media debauchery to me. It's highly generalized. And let me tell you this - If you go to vrindavan and talk to a majority of these women;you'll find that most of them are voluntarily there as piligrim residents rather than forced by their families.

Source:

- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)

"Resident Attention Seeker"

By fanonite• 13 Mar 2010 11:29
fanonite

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By fanonite• 13 Mar 2010 11:26
fanonite

but what this documentary shows is that even if the widons are not living on streets most of them are living a very sad and miserable life.they are considered responsible for the death of their husbands and oppressed and subjugated for the rest of their lives. it happens mainly in rural india.

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By Arien• 13 Mar 2010 11:17
Arien

Fanonite. But why did you ignore my above post which has statistics to prove your statemnt is wrong???

You said.."40 million in the same conditions". which is utter nonsense. India has only 34m widows and only 8% of that live alone. You are indeed a hater.

By anonymous• 13 Mar 2010 11:12
anonymous

Ya I know, I am from India :P

/\____/\___/\_______/\______________/\__ ____________________________________ You Lost Me!!

By fanonite• 13 Mar 2010 11:10
fanonite

i speak agains oppression anywhere around the world.. and not to mention that my only best friend who is a gem of person is from india..

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By anonymous• 13 Mar 2010 11:08
anonymous

Painther bro fanonite is alright, not the typical India hater.

/\____/\___/\_______/\______________/\__ ____________________________________ You Lost Me!!

By fanonite• 13 Mar 2010 11:06
fanonite

after watching Forgotten Women and you seem to be offended by just the mention of the most oppressed populations of your country.

Anyways, thanks for your comment.

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By painther• 13 Mar 2010 10:18
Rating: 2/5
painther

Fanonite, are you Sick (minded) really?, why? read below-

(1) Instead copy pasting such big article, you should have simply pasted link and MADE your comments. Intention of YOUR comments are important, not the CNN's story.

(2) Even if you write with a malign intention, which you know well, you did, I'd not question it as it's a routine process here in QL by some Sick fellas, are you the one????

(3) Since India is around 1.2 billion populace, it's but natural to have Most of everything- good, bad & ugly, You chosen 'selectively' as per your TASTE & temprament.

(4) I neither contradict this story by CNN nor find problems with CNN. as far CNN, it's their good job to bring such issues, and is accepted to act to eradicate them, if something wrong going on.

(5) there is a better side of vrindavan-

-- It's place of renowed Music Guru Swami Haridas, who happend to be teacher of famed music meastro tansen.

-- It's centre of "dhupad" style of indian classical music; they who know the worth of it, appraise it, and for ugly minded, i can't help.

-- Millions of tourist, domestic & global, visit this place for serene beauty & spiritual gains, every year.

-- ask any foreighner, visiting india, this place is must, along with Agra, Delhi & Jaipur trio.

-- Vrindavan, along with nandgaon, Barsana & Mathura, makes most visted places and are famous for beautiful banks of yamuna and such spiritual gains.

-- i can write many such stuff, I know them better then any1 else here,for more read on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vrindavan

Last, to you and many such India-Hate mongers, just follow Arundhati Roy, famous writer, acclaiamed in India & abroad, she is full of bringing many darker side of her society; She brings it as a matter of better journlism (i think )

-but it apparantly massages the Hollow egos of Many india haters, are you the one??

-I find many who seek solution to their mental hollowness, intellectual bankrupcy and false pride & prejudice in searching problems with others; are you the one??

-I'm sure you r not from where you have 'falsly' mentioned,(any1 can track ur posts and know where are you from) but i'd not say anything bad about that because it boasts some of my best friends from that place and they are the true representative, not you offcourse;

- Any1 who feels happy in seeing darker side of India, has to get saddened since there are more, and growing day by day, of brighter sides.

- You want more?, ok give name of the society which you think is perfect.

By nomerci• 12 Mar 2010 18:20
nomerci

Incredible !

What comes around, goes around....

By fanonite• 12 Mar 2010 14:46
fanonite

an eye opening documentary

here is a link

http://www.straight.com/article-142878/dilip-mehta-brings-widows-out-margins

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By Arien• 12 Mar 2010 12:57
Arien

In terms of prevalence of widowhood , we know that India ranks highest in the world... but

40 million in the same conditions?..Wrong. What are you trying ??

INDIA has...In its 1.2 billion

34million widows ( 8% of the Total female population)

ONLY 7% of them lives alone

25% working outide their home

By fanonite• 12 Mar 2010 12:03
fanonite

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By fanonite• 12 Mar 2010 11:35
fanonite

according to statistics there are 40 million widows in india who are living in very similar conditions...

the link to this newsclip is

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/07/05/damon.india.widows/index.html

"The more I see of the world the more am I dissatisfied with it." Jane Austen.

By Arien• 12 Mar 2010 10:42
Arien

Can we have the link to the source of the cut n Paste???

and.. Thanks for your concern, 15000 of 1.2 billion is an alarming number indeed no fanonite?.

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