Drake, you have obviously never been to places like Miss Moneypenny's or Cream etc, if you have then you must be blind.
As for dancing in front of a mirror and doing bump and grind with male friends well you certainly have a vivid imagination, perhaps you frequent such clubs as the Blue Oyster Bar or Fluffy Pink Flamingo's, perhaps that is more your scene!
As for not being interested in the opposite sex good point but then im married, and yep both myself and wife are what could be termed as hardened clubbers having spent time in the majority of the best clubs in the world.

I shall leave you to your choice of clubs as mentioned earlier....where you can bump and grind with men as that is obviously at the top of your thoughts!!
P.S. your not one of the men that has been hastling Tyler by any chance????