Please no need for you defend to yourself. In Islam, the personel relationship between husband & wife do have certain conditions to full fill, which definitley you would have follwed, for which Allmighty would reward you.
After seeing prono material some men forget the matrimonial do's & dont's, which out of Jahaliya would encounter with such easily available women. Who can go to any extend for sake of money. marraige is not food or clothes or any other material whih you could change for sake of just availibility. It is not easy for you to bear such grief.Prayers are best way for you to get out of this situation. May Allah grant you saber to sort out your dear life.