My own family's experience is that it has worked out best that my wife has stayed at home with our small children. She is a well-educate professional, but we decided even before we were married that we would do everything possible so that she could stay home with our children. Fortunately money is not a significant issue for us, and we are able to live comfortably on my salary. More would always be nice, and we've made minor sacrifices along the way.

I fully agree with nomerci. Even with our first child my wife worked constantly taking care of our son, managing the house, and making sure he participated in activities with other children. Even now with two more she works nonstop from dawn to dusk (and that is with the help of a maid), as only our oldest is in school. Idle is the last word I would use to describe her then or now, and any respite she receives is well-earned.

Having said that I must admit I am often bothered by the (mostly Western) expat mothers who stay at home but then hand the kids over to day care and maids to raise. These women are idle and seem to spend more time at the club perfecting their tans and tennis game than raising their children. I am also bothered by the mothers of small children who are here on their husband's visa and don't need more income, but still go out to work because they are bored at home or want some extra cash. Ultimately, of course, it is each couple's choice, and only they know what is best for their family.